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(You were right about the stars, each one is a burning sun)

Are you wearing short shorts? What the hell?
Don't you realize you look like a creep?
I could never take you out in public
You are constantly embarra**ing me

Take off your space helmet
Take off your bathrobe
Take off your false mustache
Then we can go

Are you wearing hulk hands? Jesus Christ
Would you stop acting like a child?
Take off your slogan-baring t-shirt
Not gonna let you just run wild

If you're going to
San Francisco
You should take those flowers
Out of your hair

Are you wearing moon-shoes? That's so weird
Why do you insist on dressing like this?
Don't say you're going to drink tea
In a field of flowers, because that's so random
Because you're so wacky, and I'm sick of your sh*t
You're not a rebel
You are not cool
You're just a fashion novel
Don't be a fool

In your world John Lennon wrote "Blowing In The Wind"
And everyone has hair down to their waist
And wears untied rainbow converse sneakers
And they smoke weed and make harmless 4-panel jokes to each other
And everybody speaks like they have a dictionary shoved up their a**
Well I've had it. I'm sick of it
The 60's were half a century ago
Knock it off already

Take off your porcupine hat
And Marcho Grouch gla**es
Wipe off the mono-brow
You drew with your grandma's ashes

I am honestly baffled by your short shorts
I am honestly baffled by your short shorts
I am honestly baffled by your short shorts
I am honestly baffled by your short shorts

"I Am Honestly Baffled By Your Short Shorts"
By Will Barnes

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