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PLASTIC/TAPE 4
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Yesterday the local flowers were barely open, but with the sunny skies this morning they're open and happy to share some smiles with us. We got a bright sunshiny day kicking off in the morning hours into the afternoon with light clouds rolling in as we approach dinner hour- Ugh, at this hour? Let's take a look at the charts. We have temperatures at 6 degrees up in Claireheights, traveling down into the south we start to see double that at 12 degrees for both Claireville and Clairecenter Oh, another gift? Current wind speed in the area is sitting at a smooth 6.6kmh Who the f**k is Larry? --heading west, expect some nice cloudy scenery while you folks cool off in the evening. For most people daytime high today will be sitting at 12 degrees, tomorrow, expect to see an increase in cloud count as the vacuum carries us down towards a gentle 6 degree peak. Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, and all the rest, this week is looking like another beautiful 7 days. This is Jill Taylor with the weather, and remember Claire, don't open that package! Huh? Hello F**k Come on *throat clear* WEW *throat clear* *short throat clear* *shorter throat clear* *shorter throat clear* *throat clear* *reverse throat clear* WE FU-FU-FU-FU-FU-FU-FU-FU-FU-FU-FU AH-AH WE F**KING LOVE YOU TO DEAAAAAAAAAAATH BUP DEATH W-WE W- W-WE-W w w w w w WE F**KING LOVE YOU TO DEUHLILUIOIUI DEAAADEAAADEAA FUFUF**KING LOVE YOU TO DEAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAa WE WE (We f**king love you) WE VI (We f**king love you t-) (We f**king love you) Stay back WE F**KING LOVE YOU TO D D D D D D Honey, I'm home! *applause* Oh, what else is on?! Don't! Open! That! Package! Give it up for your host, Pete Bradburn *applause* And welcome back everybody to "Don't Open That Package". I'm your host, Pete Bradburn and I’m here with Claire who’s about to spin the Wheel of Fate. How are you feeling? I’m good. You know, tending to my collection *applause* How are the kids, Pete? Good, good. Their gums are a little sore, but they’ll get over it. Didn’t we all? *laughter* Well, Claire, are you ready to spin the Wheel of Fate? Ready as I’ll ever be! *collective gasp* And who would’ve guessed, we have a winner! Claire will NOT be opening the package today, but she WILL be going home with some shiny new ribbons! *applause* Oh my God! This is the... sixth time Claire has won 'Don't Open That Package'. We'll be back after commercial This Saturday night, don't forget to watch 'The Godfather's Dentist' I'm the Godfather and this is my dentist Canada's best Italian teeth grinding celebrity show We got a big shipment comin' in tomorrow! Oh no, I forgot the boxes! This season, featuring American white rapper, Staple God You and I both know that we were supposed to get those teeth to the boss guy ages ago, alright? I'm trying my best, you don't understand! You know what happens when you mess with the big boss And if you don't hold up your side of the deal... there's gonna be trouble for both of us While Luigi is all smiles, Staple God is in the hot seat from the big boss If he doesn't get those molars to me by the end of the night, he knows what happens And if any near under quota when they go to weigh it in, you know what happens Eh, but my spin drill machine, it-a broke-a! Look! I'm tired of the excuses man Will he get his spin drill in gear? Or will the big boss be sending him down the root ca*** to failure? Think I'm gonna add him to the list and send him down the root ca*** to FAILURE. Youse thinks you a tough guy? I ne- Do you know how much money you owe me? N-n-n, well... I'm the boss! W- ah- Is there anything you can do? You, you go-, you gotta do something if you wanna keep this position Uh, we- Do something for me, what can you do? Uh, I ca- I can beatbox. Wanna hear me beatbox? BUHbzhhbububutssBOoTSSpHH This Saturday night at 7:30 Only on Clarity TV Exclusive! What does it feel like to be pure? Pure *sip* (Ahh) Feel the buzz of Epsilon Cream Soda. Bubbly Bubbly Fresh Fresh Crisp Crisp A new sensation for your taste buds A new sensation for your taste buds Our unique hydrogen peroxide whitening agent targets plaque and tartar build up, making your teeth more prime for delivery than ever! Epsilon Cream Soda. Taste the love MmmMmmMmmaAMmAaaaaAaaaAAAAAAAOOoouhhhhhrublubluBLUBLBULBUBLUblubUHHrubrubrubrlubluBULBUBLUBLUBLBULBULBUBLUBLublbubluAOHHHH! Mm! MM! AY! CHUBBY SODAAAAAAAAAAAA CHUBBY SODAAAAAAAAAAAA -ry! Larry! Larry! (Oh sh*t, there h-) F**K TAMAGOTCHIS BI- Oh, you made a- *laugh* You're listening to OMNI RADIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (102.5050501050105) In the mix! OMNI Radio O-OMNI RADIO OMNI RADIO You just listened to "cold outside" by HELVETICAN (Helvetican) IN THE MIX 24/7 N-NO LIMIT RADIO Bringing you the latest in- BA**! bas- (aaAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA) ooOOMNNNNIIPPPOONNYYY Including sounds from! THE RADIO DEMON Striking Infinity! THE DOPEST SONIC PALETTE l-l-l-limitless! Refresh your senses Reset your life! DESTRUCTIVE FORCE OF Omnniiiiiiiii radiioooooooooooooooo Alright, and up next we have six impala & Willy Crooks' "KEEPITINSIDE" on OMNI RADIO O-OMNI RADIO OMNI RADIO K-k-k-k-k-keep it inside Yuh, keep it inside Keep it inside Uhhhhhhhh Keep it inside KEEP IT! IN! SIDE! (Woo!) KEEPITINSIDE (Keep it inside, yeah) KEEPITINSIDE (Keep it inside, yeah) KEEPITINSIDE (Keep it, yeah) KEEP IT! IN! SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDE What did you see? I saw God, and the world doesn't revolve around us There are others. Hundreds, thousands, tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands, uh, milli- F**k it. Hm? What the f**k! Six
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