Correction Lyrics The Amazing Fantastical History of Mr. Willy Wonka by Original London Cast of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

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Lyrics

(Charlie’s home is a one room tumbledown shack under a railway arch. He finds his grandparents waiting, as they always are, all four of them in the same old bed. As they wait for their cabbage soup to boil, Charlie notices there’s just time for a story, the only question is: which story should it be?)

Ten minutes till dinner, just enough time to hear the story of Willy Wonka!

Didn’t we tell you the story of Willy Wonka last night?

No…

I have a distinct recollection of telling you the story of Willy Wonka just last night.

And the night before that.

I don’t mean to be rude, Grandpa Joe, but you are getting a bit old
and, well, maybe a bit forgetful?

Have we really never ever told the boy about him?

Not once!
Well, for his entire life the tot has not once told a lie.

I told you so.

But can we answer all his queries?

Can we cover all the theories?

All the bed's a stage so, dearies,

Let us try!

What a clever man he is
This Mr. Wonka
There's so many tales to tell
All about the tasty sweets
That made the people
Gather round for just one smell
Children gnawed

While in their rompers

Chocolate eggs between their chompers

Till a tiny bird was perched upon their tongue

Yes, Mr. Willy Wonka

Has a sex appel what makes me feel young!
There I said it!

Oh, you little minx!

From all around the world
They called on Mr. Wonka
Kings and queens and presidents
Even down in Rome
The Pope left home
And in the fact'ry took up residence

Dalai Lamas and their mamas
Had such episodes and dramas

Even Gandhi got himself into a brawl

For Mr. Willy Wonka

We all sing for he's the king of them all

There were sugar balloons

And macaroons

'T'were feathery sweets

And marshmallow treats

Transforming wheezing geezers to a child

And let me say that Mr. Willy Wonka
Whips a swirl what makes a girl go wild
Well, he does!

Tell the one about the Indian Prince
The one about Prince Pondicherry

Oh, you like the scary ones, don’t you, Charlie?
(sung)
Willy Wonka went to India
Near the kingdom of Madras
Where he met Prince Pondicherry
Who was rich but awfully cra**
He had wed a Maharani
Who craved chocolate for each meal
So he called up Willy Wonka
And he said

"Let's make a deal!
I will pay a million rupee
For a house to please her belly
We will be the talk of Punjab
And the toast of old New Delhi!"

"I will gladly build this fortress", Wonka said
"But just one thing…
It will be nice for the winter
But it won't last past the spring"

"For the sun will make a river
Of this chocolate Taj Mahal

"And you'll end up in hot chocolate
With your chocolate femme fatale

But the prince, he wouldn't listen

"Use a bonbon for the dome
I won't rest until my missus
Eats me out of house and home"

And so Wonka built a showplace
But when Summer came around
All the walls began to melt
Till every ceiling hit the ground

And the prince and princess perished

Drowning in the chocolate flow

Yes, they died 'cause they were greedy

Ah, but what a way to go!

Oh, but Charlie, then the spies came

Fickelgruber…

Prodnose…

And Slugworth!

Stealing every new invention as soon as it appeared.
Wonka closed down the factory and no chocolate was made for a very long time…
But then one night the lights came back on again
And strange shadows appeared at the windows.
Yes! The factory was up and running again!
But how?
Nobody’s ever got in and nobody’s ever come out.
And that is one of the great mysteries of the chocolate making world.
Yes, the smoke returned to the chimneys
But the gates stayed locked and chained
And strange shadows…

Ghostly shadows!

Appeared at the window, unexplained

Yes, out went Fickelgruber, Prodnose, Slugworth

No one went in, which is quite bizarre.

But the factory churned

And the sweets returned

If we could only afford one bar!
So, Charlie, now you're up to date on Willy Wonka
Now you know what he's about
Though it's a crying shame that no one's going in
At least the chocolates still come out

Now once again each mother's daughter
Feels her mouth begin to water

In Brazil they gave up coffee
For a taste of Wonka toffee

Now each nose with sense olfactory
Thinks the fact'ry's satis-snack-tory

For a single whiff I might commit a crime!

Yes, Mr. Willy Wonka's…

Like I said

…A man ahead of his time!

I’ve still got it!

I’ve slipped a disk.

I think I need a pee.

I think I just had one.

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