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Dear Alcohol (Mega Remix)
by
Dax
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Lyrics
I keep drinkin' 'til I'm someone I don't recognize I got wasted Ain't gotta turn on the lights, I take a shot in the dark Goin' round after round to fill this hole in my heart And I got nowhere to go, when it all falls down Got nowhere to run, when it all runs out Drownin' my sorrows with bottles Too intoxicated for me to take the high road Since the Whiskey came, I done lost my way Lost myself in a drink I got wasted 'cause I didn't wanna deal with myself tonight My thoughts get drowned until I feel alright I keep drinkin' 'til I'm someone I don't recognize I got wasted I can never evеr live without it The numbness and thе pause that I get from it I can never fall asleep with all that venisive So many troubles and so much pain, I can't deal with it I keep on drinking, [?] Depression [?] I don't wanna deal with myself I got wasted I got wasted 'cause I didn't wanna deal with myself tonight My thoughts get drowned until I feel alright I keep drinkin' 'til I'm someone I don't recognize I got wasted I'm pa**ed out and it's like I'm in a war Life is pa**ing while I'm wasted on the floor See I've been drowning in a life without no pa**ion Coping with this drink and I know it's tragic I wanna feel real life I want some real kisses, feel the real touch Find a real Mrs. 'til the fog is gone With God as my witness, I'ma sober up I'ma sober up I got wasted 'cause I didn't wanna deal with myself tonight My thoughts get drowned until I feel alright (Oh-woah) I keep drinkin' 'til I'm someone I don't recognize (I'm five years sober so this comes from a really raw place, I hope this reaches someone that needs to here it - you're not alone) I got wasted You ever look back to a certain time and try to reminisce And all you get is little flashes, a piece of the past And as each year pa** you start to realize that the only thing that last is the bottom of a gla** And your friendships' plastic Oh well, that sh*t happens But what about when you can't even make it through the day And your hands start shaking, your girlfriend left And your parents pray for your safety Not just pray, but the type that would make even atheists' feel like it's something to faith 'Cause maybe only God knows what it takes Maybe only I know how to break it But I can't 'cause I'm caged in the shell of a man right now I don't really wanna hear it Hurt the people that are dearest And it took my soul, that's why they call it Spirits I got wasted 'cause I didn't wanna deal with myself tonight My thoughts get drowned until I feel alright I keep drinkin' 'til I'm someone I don't recognize I got wasted At fourteen I had my first OJ and Vodka and thought I was so G But that quickly turned into poppin' these pills and mixing my drink with the codeine But then I OD'd I should've listened when they told me Now when I drink, I get to sendin' you these messages just 'cause I'm lonely And it ain't 'cause I'm wasted It's because I'm lost I need you to call And I don't know no other way to take away the pain I'm 'bout to fall I got wasted 'cause I didn't wanna deal with myself tonight My thoughts get drowned until I feel alright I keep drinkin' 'til I'm someone I don't recognize (Yeah) I got wasted (Woah, ayy) And I'm taken by the drink and the ball too Girl, I love the people tryna keep me off my vibe too I ain't got a tattoo, but I wish I got two Smuggle money out of a van, what about you? And I'm talking 'bout the drink and the liquor Tryna put my brain in a game damn figure All I do is drink and drink and drink and think Take like three, four, five in a day, ayy I got a lot of problems, family problems, relationship problems All I gotta do is just solve 'em Everybody tryna get me all f**ked up Tryna do no drugs, so I fill my cup with the Hennessey Put me on top, leave me up like I'm faraway Call me on phone when I'm far away Yeah, I'm runnin' from my problems But I know one day I'll stop I got wasted 'cause I didn't wanna deal with myself tonight My thoughts get drowned until I feel alright I keep drinkin' 'til I'm someone I don't recognize I got wasted It's a quick high, then a long low And you call me tryna come home But I can't be your only remedy Tryna save you is gonna kill me So write it down, put it in a song Hope you pour it out We'd all feel less alone 'Stead of getting wasted, waste your time making something real You can turn your wasted to power, helping other people heal I got wasted 'cause I didn't wanna deal with myself tonight (Yeah, mmm) My thoughts get drowned until I feel alright (Oh-oh, mmm) I keep drinkin' 'til I'm someone I don't recognize I got wasted I got wasted, shot, then I chased it Wanted a taste, now it's my night that I'm wastin' It's been happenin' more and more Start with one and then I'm pourin' four Now I'm stumblin' through the corridor Crying out for anything except a level head I've been fighting all these demons but the spirits put 'em right to bed I know they'll find me when I feel the hangover 'Cause they don't hate the man I am until he's sober I got wasted 'cause I didn't wanna deal with myself tonight (Oh) My thoughts get drowned until I feel alright I keep drinkin' 'til I'm someone I don't recognize I got wasted Just one more shot of whiskey then I'll put the bottle down The warmth that it provides me is the best thing that I have found And I know that it can't kill me 'cause I'm already dead And I would do anything to drown these thoughts inside my head I'm messed up, f**ked up, and I only disappoint My mental health doesn't give me much a choice Drunk in the crowds, getting lost in all the noise If someone screams and no one hears, do they even have a voice? I got wasted 'cause I didn't wanna deal with myself tonight My thoughts get drowned until I feel alright I keep drinkin' 'til I'm someone I don't recognize I got wasted I spent half my life drinkin', other half over-thinkin Blame it on a disposition and a family full of addiction Some say it's already written I guess the first step is admittin' It's hard being sober and dealing with feelings but I ain't a quitter I don't plan on quitting, yeah! Half a bottle got me catching waves Bring the loud, we gone cross fade Used to buy into being an addict Until I learned another way I've been finding my balance Lettin' go of my malice Here's a toast to the challenge, yeah I got wasted 'cause I didn't wanna deal with myself tonight My thoughts get drowned until I feel alright I keep drinkin' 'til I'm someone I don't recognize I got wasted Since you've been gone I've been sippin' into my sorrows One last bottle then tomorrow I'll be sober, but I I can't escape this hole that I've been diggin' in All my demons fighting wars that I can't really win I bite my tongue and hit the wall until I bleed Trapped in my thoughts until it's hard for me to breathe And I know it's hard for you to see but this liquor's got a hold on me I got wasted 'cause I didn't wanna deal with myself tonight My thoughts get drowned until I feel alright I keep drinkin' 'til I'm someone I don't recognize I got wasted Look I'm at the bottom of the bottle again I be living through a life with a whole lot of sin And I know I got a problem, I don't try to pretend I be kicking it with Jack when I don't got a friend I get wasted Sippin' a beer, that's how I chase it Go to the store and cop cases When I get drunk, I do not pace it I done blacked out on so many occasions Even though it never feels good on the next day I'ma still look forward to the next taste Turning to the bottle when I really need to escape Even thought I know it's probably leading to my death day It's a vicious cycle that is genocidal And it's taken friends and taken many idols And I know that I really must stop if I wanna see the day that I'm sitting on top I got wasted 'cause I didn't wanna deal with myself tonight My thoughts get drowned until I feel alright I keep drinkin' 'til I'm someone I don't recognize I got wasted Had to quit sippin' and get to the money I'd rather be rich than be numb to the pain Issues within me, I think no one love me You tell me it's only inside of my brain Lie to myself then I try to explain Drink to forget and get high to maintain If I quit for good and I try to refrain Then I gotta admit that I'm drowning in pain And I don't wanna face it, rather pour up and get wasted Straight 'cause I'm trying to taste it All of my problems would probably get better with time But I'd rather be drunk than be patient Why would I chase it? Love how it hit when I face it That bottle takes me to places I need to be when I'm deep in my feelings I feel like I'm trapped so I sip to escape it, yeah I got wasted 'cause I didn't wanna deal with myself tonight My thoughts get drowned until I feel alright I keep drinkin' 'til I'm someone I don't recognize I got wasted I told myself I will never ever drink like this again It's 5 o'clock on the dot, the liquors pulling me in I'm one more drink from blacking out so I'ma try to pretend Like I'm not feeling a buzz but damn I'm wasted The only time I feel alive is when I'm lit as a b*t*h I said only one sip but now I'm faded I wouldn't be in this position always feeling like sh*t But when the alcohol hits it feels amazing I got wasted 'cause I didn't wanna deal with myself tonight My thoughts get drowned until I feel alright I keep drinkin' 'til I'm someone I don't recognize I got wasted Another bottle to the face The liquor numbs what I think Drowning in it but nobody see it I'm invisible, I'm gonna sink down Used to it, I don't know who to call People care so they ain't viewed to have flaws Running from myself but how can nobody see it? What if the world cut my lights out? Who would show up to my funeral? What would it mean? If everyone's crying out Praying that I'll be at peace in a place they can't see They'll know me as the quiet one But time spent on this Earth ain't true to what I wanted I wish it was all in my head, but I got wasted 'cause I didn't wanna deal with myself tonight My thoughts get drowned until I feel alright I keep drinkin' 'til I'm someone I don't recognize I got wasted Kickin' myself, got wasted again Up all night with Jack and Jim Tryna drown the thoughts running through my mind Sippin' heartbreak chase with moonshine Unholster Glock laid on the table Day by day closer to fatal This open Bible ain't savin' me When it's covered all in this Hennessey But I pick myself back up Prayed to God, no more liquor in my cup Hell and back, put me out the flames Lord on my side, breakin' these chains See, I never cared what people think Take my demons pour 'em down the sink How I see things now, it ain't the same I'm back on track, you gon' know my name I got wasted 'cause I didn't wanna deal with myself tonight My thoughts get drowned until I feel alright I keep drinkin' 'til I'm someone I don't recognize I got wasted You're runnin', get high I do this every time Don't know where else to go So I drown my pain and ease my pride Sittin' on that bathroom floor way too many times Contemplating 'bout my life, 13 Reasons Why, oh why (Why) did you have to leave? You were apart of me Now our dreams are great But they can't see that side of me Nothing left to do But love for you So I pour this liquor and I take a shot for you I got wasted 'cause I didn't wanna deal with myself tonight My thoughts get drowned until I feel alright I keep drinkin' 'til I'm someone I don't recognize I got wasted (Oh) Every time I look in the mirror, all I see, ohh There's somebody just wondering why they always leave, ooooh Instead of dealing with it and feeling it I tell myself I don't need someone When it's all that I need Oh, deep down I'm so lonely I got wasted 'cause I didn't wanna deal with myself tonight My thoughts get drowned until I feel alright I keep drinkin' 'til I'm someone I don't recognize I got wasted Another generation down like bleach to a family tree She's tellin' me to pour it out, stop drowning in fermented company I got a lushes trauma, enrich myself Stop this tainted sweat from trickling down I gotta toss away the same sh*t hell And keep it far away from my dear child I got wasted 'cause I didn't wanna deal with myself tonight My thoughts get drowned until I feel alright I keep drinkin' 'til I'm someone I don't recognize I got wasted (Look) I think I lost my composure I think a lot when I'm sober I try to run away from my thoughts but I still let the bottle get closer So I drink every night 'til the morning, I'm hoping the gla** will provide me some closure And I don't want breakfast so I'll leave the apple and just take a shot on the go And a couple more 'cause I need that Told my whole family I'm a clean man So they could stop stressin' and worryin' 'bout me even though I know that I relapsed And I'm tired of the lies now I need full support and I mean that, so I'm gone now See you all after rehab 'cause I got wasted 'cause I didn't wanna deal with myself tonight My thoughts get drowned until I feel alright I keep drinkin' 'til I'm someone I don't recognize I got wasted Got tired of thinkin' so I start drinkin' 'til I was fully loaded and bloated My words misquoted I'm wasted and I know it Inebriation begets alleviation which causes deviation I'm pacin' with no patients I'm 'bout to blow it ain't pretty so I crack down I pick up another drink, put it back down Started drinkin' everything and I'm thinkin' overdrinkin' I'm way to far to let down No I can't do this on my own so I come to you 'cause you all got alone I got wasted 'cause I didn't wanna deal with myself tonight My thoughts get drowned until I feel alright I keep drinkin' 'til I'm someone I don't recognize I got wasted I got wasted 'cause these feelin's that I got hurt like hell tonight Got me caught up can't stop thinkin' about a paradise I can't find it, and everybody around me seems to be survivin' But I, I can't forget the pain that I caused I try to follow my heart than I fall down I'm hangin' out with all these bottles now so I got wasted 'cause I didn't wanna deal with myself tonight My thoughts get drowned until I feel alright I keep drinkin' 'til I'm someone I don't recognize I got wasted I'll keep drinkin' 'til I can't find myself I'm way too wasted couldn't even find my way back home I couldn't find my way back home But I can't find it, I'm drownin' in my thoughts It just keeps comin' back and I don't know if I'll ever get away I got wasted 'cause I didn't wanna deal with myself tonight My thoughts get drowned until I feel alright I keep drinkin' 'til I'm someone I don't recognize I got wasted I've been drinkin', I've been thinkin' 'bout the past Whiskey on the rocks, don't know where to put my lovin' Got a mask on thinkin' 'bout the future 'bout to beg God Know that I be livin' so brash How to heal my pain even with the lack of focus This anxiety made me the coldest And not on purpose I'm an over-thinker when I'm hurtin' My depression [?] Bullet holes in my headspace Kill the ego and my view perfect Sippin', sippin' on this bourbon I got wasted 'cause I didn't wanna deal with myself tonight My thoughts get drowned until I feel alright I keep drinkin' 'til I'm someone I don't recognize I got wasted Guitar Solo I got wasted 'cause I didn't wanna deal with myself tonight My thoughts get drowned until I feel alright I keep drinkin' 'til I'm someone I don't recognize I got wasted
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