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[Keith Leak Jr.]
Hey, mom, you're the bomb for giving us a home
And not grounding me for nudes you found on my phone
I'm so glad dad impregnated you
And nine months later I burst out of your womb

[Ian Hecox]
I remember when I was eight
My life was going great
My sister loved Snapple there was no debate
I thought it would be funny to play a sweet prank
Take the plastic off the cap and put in her drink
And when she sipped it I saw her start to choke
I couldn't foresee it'd get caught in her throat
Her birthday was ruined because of my stupid mistake
She never drank Snapple again and I got all her cake
Thanks mom for stepping up and saving the day (you rock!)
I didn't want you to have to find out this way (love you)
Hey mom I did something that wasn't that cool so now I gotta follow that mother's day rule

[Keith Leak Jr.]
Hey, mom, you're the bomb for giving us a home
And not grounding me for nudes you found on my phone
I'm so glad dad impregnated you
And nine months later I burst out of your womb

[Anthony Padilla]
And when I was 15 I messed up again
Trying to impress some girls with my friends
See, I understand the ladies and here was the scoop
Hot girls can't resist the sight of burning poop
So I found a dog, lured him up the steps
Tried to feed him X-Lax but he wouldn't ingest
But I didn't stress out, I just dealt with the glitches
I knew what I had to do to impress these bitches
But the fire kept spreading, it wouldn't stay put
So my momma had to stamp the crap out with her foot
Hey, mom, I did something that wasn't that cool so now I gotta follow that mother's day rule

[Keith Leak Jr.]
Hey, mom, you're the bomb for giving us a home
And not grounding me for nudes you found on my phone
I'm so glad dad impregnated you
And nine months later I burst out of your womb

Hey, mom! You're the bomb!
Hey, mom! You're the bomb!

[Anthony, Keith, and Ian]
Sorry we hid so many things from you years ago
But here's a couple of other things you probably should know
I watched porn on the computer when I told you I never did
Put a sandwich in the VCR when I was a little kid
I punched a hole in the wall and I hid it with a poster
Tried to cook a pizza in the mother flippin' toaster
Threw a big ass party everytime you were away
Lied to a hot neighbor and told her I was gay
And my fish might have died because I overfed
And I might have done some stuff with a girl in your bed, yeah

[Keith Leak Jr.]
Hey, mom, you're the bomb for giving us a home
And not grounding me for nudes you found on my phone
I'm so glad dad impregnated you
And nine months later I burst out of your womb

Hey, mom, you're the bomb for giving us a home
And not grounding me for nudes you found on my phone
I'm so glad dad impregnated you
And nine months later I burst out of your womb

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