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Smokey Mountain Rattlesnake Retreat
por
Ray Stevens
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Well me and Doris went on vacation We decided we needed more than recreation So we enrolled in a Bible camp retreat I got the directions and we took off It only took six hours to get completely lost Way back up in the mountains of east Tennessee Well it was getting real dark and I was starting to fret Doris said, look yonder bet that's it She pointed to the lights to this little church way back in the bush An old man met us, I said just two He escorted us down to the very first pew I said Doris I don't think this is the right place, she just said hush Well they preached some sermons and sang some songs Then they preached some more and went on and on Nearly wore me out I'd had about all I could take Then they pulled down the shades and things quieted down This guy next to me punched me said, here pass this down I turned to look and son of a gun he handed me a snake Oh the night that me and Doris Went running through the forest Way back up in the hills of Tennessee Yeah we started making tracks When they broke out that diamond back It scared the devil out of poor old Doris and me He said take it man don't you believe I said I believe all right I believe I'll leave And I reached for Doris but she done fainted away white as a sheet Now I couldn't pick her up, and I couldn't find the door And them rattlers were crawling all around the floor And friends that's when the spirit hit my feet I started running down the aisles and bouncing off the walls Like somebody teed off a new golf ball In a tiled bathroom friends I mean I was moving on I'd run past Doris every minute or two Trying to shake her awake her but it wasn't no use For a while there I thought the Lord had called the poor thing home Then somebody dropped a big one in her lap Doris come too and something in her snapped She grabbed that thing by the tail, commenced swinging it around her head Then she gave it a crack like LashLaRue The head came off and sailed across the room Then she did a tap dance on the rest of them suckers till they was all dead Well I grabbed her by the hand and we headed for the car When she hollered to the preacher, I don't know who you are Or where you came from or how you ever learn how to preach But let me tell you something you old raggedy cat You don't know nothing about running a Bible Camp And me and my husband are on our way to Daytona Beach Oh the night that me and Doris Went running through the forest Way back up in the hills of Tennessee Yeah we started making tracks When they broke out that diamond back It sure scared the devil out of poor old Doris and me Oh the night that me and Doris Went running through the forest Way back up in the hills of Tennessee Yeah we started making tracks When they broke out that diamond back It sure scared the devil out of poor old Doris and me
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