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I was taking a walk during my lunch break, and came
across a man in a dirty brown jacket covered with many
political bumper stickers that had contradicting
slogans. He looked me right in the eye, and then he
said:

Keep it down, the FBI is watching me
They bugged my lunchbox because I know their filthy
schemes
They're going door to door and taking everybody's jobs
The CIA gave me LSD

Political bum, Political bum
He's got his opinions and a bottle of rum.
He used to be a hippie now he lives on the streets
Striking up debates with everyone that he meets.

Political bum

I tried to get away, but he followed me, holding up his
sign that said, "Will eat for food." My avoidance
seemed to fuel his passion, and I braced myself for
another barrage of confusing rhetoric.

I lost my balls to a bomb in Koreatnam
They have sex tape Kim Jon Ill and Uncle Sam
Mountain Dew is a fundamental human right
You sank my partisanship

The sun was beginning to set at this point, and I could
tell that he was just getting warmed up. Insane or not,
you had to admire his dedication to his ideals.
Whatever they are.

Tinfoil helmet is protecting my brain waves
The DMV is run by alien sex slaves
911 was an upside job
Somebody kill the f*cking whales

Political bum, Political bum
He's got his opinions and a bottle of rum.
Republican or Democrat, you can't really tell
But your eyes start to water when you notice the smell

Political bum

You won't never get me back on a plane
I caught herpes from the TSA
JFK shot Abraham Lincoln
Somebody give me some change

Political bum, Political bum
He's got his opinions and a bottle of rum.
I see him on the corner almost everyday
I think he takes his showers at the YMCA

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