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Now, Mrs McGrath, the captain said,
Would you like to make a soldier out of your son Ted ?
With a scarlet coat and a big cocked hat,
Now Mrs McGrath, wouldn't you like that ?

Wi your too-ri-aa, fol the diddle-aa
Too-ri, oo-ri, oo-ri-aa
Wi your too-ri-aa, fol the diddle-aa
Too-ri, oo-ri, oo-ri-aa.

Now Mrs McGrath lived on the seashore
For the space of seven long years or more,
Till she saw a big ship sailing into the bay,
Says, It's my son Ted, will you clear the way,

Oh captain, dear, where have you been,
Have you been sailing in the Meditereen,
And have you any tidings of my son Ted,
Is the poor boy living or is he dead ?

Well, up comes Ted, without any legs,
And in their place he's got two wooden pegs.
She kissed him a dozen times or two,
Saying, Holy Moses, it isn't you,

Now were you drunk, or were you blind,
When you left your two fine legs behind,
Or was it walking upon the sea,
Wore your two fine legs from the knees away ?

No, I wasn't drunk, and I wasn't blind
When I left my two fine legs behind,
But a big cannon ball on the fifth of May,
Took me two fine legs from the knees away,

Oh Teddy, my boy, the widow cried,
Your two fine legs were your mammy's pride.
Those stumps of a tree wouldn't do at all,
Why didn't you run from the big cannon ball ?

All foreign wars, I do proclaim,
Between Don Juan and the King of Spain,
For I'd rather me Ted as he used to be,
Than the King of France and his whole navy.

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