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I remember not too long ago
When The Facts Of Life was my favorite show
Could have sworn it was only yesterday
But I know
That it's gone
So I pretend
That today it's the same

My opinion is the world has kind of sucked
Since I was a little kid who sported a bowl cut
And bitches had their hair crimped down to their necks
And acid-washed jeans or shorts from Spandex
And rap music seemed to be only for the brothers
But white kids fronted and sported Cross Colours (like me!)
Transformers were more than meets the eye
We called 867-5309 (rring!)
And hoped we'd get Jenny but we never did (nope)
We got cassette singles and Garbage Pail Kids
Rainbow Brite was the girls' favorite toy
And Tetris was the shit on the first Game Boy
The NBA changed with Larry Bird and Magic
Madonna didn't have that fake British accent (whore)
I was in the Valley, blasting Eye Of The Tiger
Top down, cruising in KITT from Knight Rider

Neon shirts from T&C Surf
I was a Raiders fan 'til Bo Jackson got hurt
And Molly Ringwald made a kid wanna think
"I'd hit it raw dawg" while in Pretty In Pink
I'd play Nintendo from the day to the night
Tecmo Bowl, Super Mario, Excitebike
I love Xbox, but you know what, f*ck 'em
I miss the Power Pad and only using two buttons
And airbrushed overalls was the shit
Hypercolor T-shirts, slap bracelets on the wrists
Shit was cool then, but for now I envision
That B2K has never heard of New Edition
Before Beyonce, there was Jody Watley
On MTV, giving little kids a chubby
And we hated the president cause he didn't have a clue
Oh, wait a minute... we still do!

I'd catch G.I. Joe every single week
And them 23 Jordans, and Cavariccis
In college basketball, it was UNLV
But now their players don't get points, they only score felonies
And girls loved New Kids On The Block, so I was hatin'
Trying to do the Footloose two-step like Kevin Bacon
I ruled shit, call me Charles In Charge
Rocked out to Motley Crue, slow danced to El DeBarge
And Michael Bivins put out a thousand little kids (yep)
But only ABC and Boyz II Men had a hit (whoops)
Jose Canseco, Laimbeer, big Riddick Bowe
The Goonies, Karate Kid, Lucas, and Rambo
This is for the kids that are 30 and below
In denim jackets, breakdancing like a pro
So blast your boombox 'til your ears ring
Hold that shit up like John Cusack in Say Anything

Hot Karl
Aka Lloyd Dobler up in this bitch
This song is in the loving memory
Of those we lost from the '80s, yo:
River Phoenix
The Human Beat Box of The Fat Boys
Michael Hutchence of INXS
Jam Master Jay
Junkyard Dog
"Ravishing" Rick Rude
Falco
John Candy
Let's go!

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