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Yeah
So, I'm walking home
I'm just walking home all on my own
There's literally no one else awake except me
And the bloke selling hot dogs outside the station
And what a wild night it's been
Two blokes dressed up as bananas join the party
Saying that they've just taken a huge pay rise at their dream job
Great, so you work 35 hours a week
Pushing paper for someone who doesn't even know you exist?
Great
So you've got a promotion
And sit next to Vicky from accounts
Who you say is somewhat of a potential love interest
Well, either way she's at least a bit of eye candy apparently
And, what about you?
What keeps you busy?
Well, excuse me, my slippery-skinned friend
I must be going now
And just like that I was off
Just me, myself, and I again
No distractions, alone with my thoughts
And what a wild night it's been
c*cktails and disco biscuits
And the night bus can be a terrifying place
Look, just a short walk past the hardware store
And across the crossroads and then home
Finally
Take these jeans off, slip out of these shoes
And stare at the ceiling
And let some kind of repetitive salsa music drift me off to the land of nod
I sure hope I can sleep tonight, I'm awfully tired
In fact, f**k that, I'm tired as f**k
And avoiding these puddles that seem to have gathered since I left mine is a little bit of a dream
(Last night got far too crazy)
I slowly make my way down the road
(We ate some disco biscuits)
(You got sideways, f**ked up)
Tarmac and white lines, tarmac and white lines
(I could not feel my fingers)
Thank God we got rid of those bananas, eh?
(Last night got far too crazy)
(We ate some disco biscuits)
Why, why
(You got sideways, f**ked up)
(I could not feel my fingers)
Why is it that when you're ruined all of your interactions seem to have a mysterious undertone
Like, wait, did- did I just meet my cousin?
Or maybe a future lover?
Or- hey! You look just like that guy who works at my local Londis
Bartenders, eh? f**k those guys, like yeah, I get it, I used to work at a bar, too but come on, I'm trying to have fun here and you're being a proper vibe vacuum
A vampire vacuuming up every last drop of my enthusiasm until I am nothing but a sorry little raisin
Bananas and raisins
I sure hope I have toast at home
Cheese on toast, salt and pepper, Lea and Perrins- wow
Game changer, you have just changed my life
Thank you so much for showing up and I genuinely appreciate the guidance
Hmm, my legs are aching a little now, but either way not far
Not far, c'mon Murray, not far at all
Keep on going
And each Uber that glides silently past me is like a lonely ghost
Of some pre-existent supercar that once roared and snarled at the traffic lights
Reduced to nothing but a quivering silent pseudo-suitable tin can
Ahh, finally I've made it
Where are my keys?
Okay, don't be silly, they're in your hand
Why're you making this long?
Just go through the door
Okay, waiting for the lift now
And brace yourself for when the lift's door opens
And then a huge full-length mirror
Me and all my drunken glory
Kinda wish I got a photo with those weird banana men now
(Last night got far too crazy)
(We ate some disco biscuits)
But it's okay, fourth floor here I come
(You got sideways, f**ked up)
Ahh, flat 65, it's good to be back
(I could not feel my fingers)
Keys in the door, feeling good, feeling good, and home at last
And what a wild night it's been
Especially for a school night
Won't be doing that again in a hurry
(Last night got far too crazy)
(We ate some disco biscuits)
Okay, turning my phone off now
(You got sideways, f**ked up)
And, um, you can keep the music playing by all means
(I could not feel my fingers)
Just perhaps turn it down a little, if that's cool?
Yeah, much better, thank you
Oh, a-and, just quickly about tomorrow, I was thinking about taking Ire and Holly out for a walk and then probably just chill
Read a book, or something
Yeah, haha, yeah yeah yeah
Alright, hey, it's been a pleasure
Yeah, thanks, speak tomorrow
Sweet dreams, and yeah
Blah blah blah
Alright, goodnight

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