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Banana Cream Pie
por
Don McLean
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A long, long yellow fruit... I can still remember How the pie it used to make me smile And I knew if I had a knife That I could cut myself a slice And, maybe, I’d be happy for a while But quarantine it made me shiver ‘Cause House of Pies it don’t deliver No pie on the doorstep; What if there’s no more left? I can’t remember if I cried When I heard we had to stay inside But I got sad when I realized I don’t know how to bake So bye-bye to banana cream pie Drove my Honda to a Ralph’s, but the Ralph’s had no pie And them good old boys said we sell other dessert But every other dessert is a lie So this'll be the day that I die Did you see that pie of love And do you have faith in bananas above If Ina tells you so? Do you believe in blind baking Is that the recipe from the Times you’re makin' And can you teach me how to sift real slow? Well, I know that you're in pain again 'Cause I saw you slip in the kitchen It looked like you had wheels Man, you need to pick up those peels I was a hungry teenage broncin' buck With a fork and plate, I just wanted a hunk But man, you didn’t give a f**k The day you ate my pie I started singing Bye, bye my banana cream pie Dove my fork into the plate, but the plate was dry I’ll just go drink that Ole Boys whiskey & rye Singing, "This'll be the day that I cry "This'll be the day that I need more pie." Now for thirty years we've been on our own While you starred in nine films about Jesse Stone Plus one yet to be released I guess Jesse comes from the LAPD And ends up a small town police chief And was conceived by Parker, Robert B Oh and while Jesse Stone was getting big You guested as a guy named Ivan Tiggs In a courtroom show in Boston With a cast you could get lost in Meanwhile Higgins wrote Robin Masters’ books At least that’s how Thomas thinks it looks But he’s all done with chasing crooks The day that Magnum died We were singing Bye, bye Mister Magnum PI Scared the d**kens out of Higgins but the Ferrari was fine Rick and TC are drinking beers and – oh, by The way this program takes place in Hawaii This program takes place in Hawaii Abel’s unstable, dumping shakes off the table Sammy Hagar is horny but unable Josh Gad reunites casts who are bored Kevin Spacey talks to some Germans To what end they cannot determine Whatever it might have been they abhorred Ayo Edebiri helped them rescue a schlub As they welcomed Eric to the club Garrison Keiller cancelled a cruise He gave them Minnesotans the blues! This YouTube guy had a real big snit Cuz Pattinson refused to get fit Do you think that was the end of it The day when Double Threat drops? We started singing Bye, bye all you loser pod guys Tom and Julie roast you cruelly Till you shut up and die And good ol’ Brett is playing clips they decry Saying, “What the f**k is this sh*t and why? “What the f**k is this sh*t and why?” Oh, my brother came by yesterday To give confession (I’m still a priest) I told him he could tell me through the door He said he j*rked off at the airport And he steals money from our parents regularly And oh yeah he also steals pie My eyes went wide in the shape of pies With little tiny bananas in side No brother of mine Could keep that pie from me! I forgave him for that other sh*t Do a Hail Mary and get over it Now get me a pie or you’re dead to me He said, "I need a week." He was singing Bye, bye the movie American Pie Caught stroking heavy by Gene Levy But he was a cool guy And good old Oz is getting frisky in choir Singing, "Chris will be the way that I Klein "Chris will be the way that I Klein." I met a girl who sang the blues And I asked her for some happy news But she just smiled and turned away I went down to the sacred store Where I'd heard the music years before But the man there said the music wouldn't play And in the street they heard my scream Outside, at a DC claw machine “Where, oh, where’s the Batman? “We’re stuck with this lousy Pat Man!” And the two bods I admire most: Tim Allen (Buzz) and Graham Yost I met him once, on the set of Speed The day Robert Pattinson Tried And I was singing My my, Robert Pattinson Guy Do some sit-ups or just get up Do some reps ‘fore I cry Our few heroes deserve the best you can try So by God, just look us straight in the eye And tell us you’ll lay off the Five Guys But he was singing "Let’s buy some Banana Cream Pie "Double spoonin, I’m balloonin, I’m so full I could die "My doctor warned me, looked me right in the eye "Saying, 'Jesus, your cholesterol’s high!'"
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