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XQZ vs. Patron
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URLtv
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He’s a card-filler that pays for big names, and the dude usually dies He hops from league to league once he sees that his views on YouTube have declined Jeffrey here is the best rapper out of all the new Crucible guys You know, gotta break the ice before you serve Patron, so that was Two Truths and a Lie URL, what up? I gotta admit, y’all held me down I’m sort of impressed I mean, y’all let me battle Day 1, so tomorrow I can watch the Super Bowl and just rest Y’all gave me an easy opponent A nice lil’ stepping stone towards my enormous success sh*t, this feels like Fresh Prince, and Jeffrey just opened the door for a guest And Lexx wasn’t even gonna pick me, either I was a last-minute replacement, more or less But KG knows it was good money trading for X (Forex) Oh, you here to put Seattle on? Man, get to saving your breath Not even Kanye’s divorce lawyer’s claimin’ Northwest (North West) Weak-ass Patron, the agave they harvest from the bush Y’all are watchin’ it get cooked I’ll let him swing like I’m still in college Take a shot to give my tolerance a push Soon as it lands, I’m just standin’ there, unbothered by the hook Like…”You’re named after tequila, man. I thought you’d at least be stronger than you look.” I been a problem, for a decade Never chasing clout, just stayed about mine They sayin’ now’s his big shot? I just say it’s ‘bout time I feel like John Paxson But y’all don’t see how this is playin’ out? Fine I’m sayin’ Phoenix already seen what happened when Chicago’s white shooter was waitin’ outside So I’m outside Steve’s lookin’ for you like Laura Winslow And they gon' have to mop the floor up and board up windows He starts duckin' under a stick like a shore club limbo And knows the drum soon as he hears it...like the Pornhub intro And I understand that's not, like...the most believable That's what I always hear when they give me feedback Well, Patron, I genuinely think you're a terrible rapper - at least believe that I mean, they asked how I got here I been stuck in small leagues since I got started That was the same year URL, Don't Flop, and King of the Dot started Some people are glad I'm here 'cause the fact I haven't quit proves I'm strong-hearted Others saying, "He hasn't blown up after a decade? He's prob'ly hot garbage." But the real reason URL booked me? Well, they figured everyone's gonna be rappin' about the stock market And figured middle-aged Jews are about to be one of their top targets So here I am! But whether URL, No Coast, or iBattle, it's been a ride, and I've shown improvement Now I'm tryin' to carry Real Sikh's flag 'cause he's the last one from the CVLT to do this Lexx flew me out 'cause he seen me control the room, told me, "Go and prove it. Like, I don't care who sells tickets. Just do you and follow no one's blueprint." That's why I don't even do that whole "run it back" sh*t that's everybody's overusin' Although I guess I did just say ride, carousel, Six Flags, coaster, flume But that was purely for my own amusement I been doin' this I said, you think I'm really worried about gettin' noticed now? Dawg (Dog), this whole trip's about f**kin' your Chance up like Homeward Bound Let your homies down Me and Beast Mode almost got the same slogan now He's just here so he don't get fined? I'm just here so you don't get found So don’t worry about how long I’ve been doin’ this, or if the style’s a little old-fashioned These b*t*hes still don’t know how to get rid of me like Closed Captions Round 1 I gotta be the truth, not to be obtuse Pour out liquor for the dead homies, put the bottle to good use Go upside your head wit' it, 'til I'm knockin' somethin' loose Tell 'em, "Patron did this to you!"...it was alcohol abuse You were thinkin' about retirin' - isn't it true? You just felt there was a certain standard you weren't livin' up to? Didn't even leave a footprint in the game, dawg (dog), had you a little bit Blue And when they replaced Steve wit' the Asian dude, they musta been tryin' to give you a clue Shoulda followed your instincts Only thing I trust is my gut I could tell if it's real or G (orgy) wit' my Eyes Wide Shut Wise up You not really tough - you pie crust I know ballplayers and shooters...try us I played 21 wit' savages, I'll bust I'll show up at your door, ready to go Steven hide (Hyde) in the basement: That '70s Show The heaviest flow, the levees just broke They said to be close, but no cigar, I bet he get smoked You even admitted...just you bein' here was a joke But you ain't just white, you egg whites Like he'll swear he was yoked (yolked) This gon' be over...easy - you mediocre How many Filipinos you see on URL? It's not exactly a easy-over Keep it kosher? Jew wish! He a vulture! Oh, but he really tryna eat off this I'm tryna feed the Culture Remember: it's not a punch unless there's an impact We both live in America, I'm well aware of the fact If you beat me, people barely react But if I beat you, it's a terrorist act! I won games on the road, I don't trip on the gas Mitsubishi, Toyota: that foreign whippin' yo' ass! Oh, you don't wanna believe me? Maybe I'm lyin' then That computer you spend all day typin' on was prob'ly made by a Chinaman So I don't wanna hear about how Japanese and Vietnamese are all the same from your perspective You a college boy, I'm pretty sure they taught you the differences in some elective Guess this is what happens when you walk into the wrong frat party I expected to catch a bunch of "Jeff" flips like Matt Hardy I stack bodies If you not sorry, then act sorry I just can't take a white rapper serious: this Bhad Barbie Who gives a f**k about bein' popular? I'm poppin' for real You don't ever have to question if I'll pop you for real Just know it's a whole list of people that I'm not gonna kill And you not on it, so if I got to, I will Lacey, Washington...ill So...mentioned the- the Philippines- and the Filipino sh*t, right? So I seen you just did that music video 'bout poverty in the Philippines And a bunch of the locals got to be in it, too Basically, just, uh, picture "God's Plan" if Drake paid them all with 300 views But it was cool though, he was in Manila Walkin' all around his motherland rappin' Talkin' 'bout drinkin' outta plastic bags and stealin' scraps out of another man's trash bin Like people in first-world countries don't even truly understand famine Or livin' in homes so cramped it makes Upper Manhattan look like the f**kin' Grand Canyon I almost cried 'Cause these people have been through suffering that most others can't fathom I mean, they had to watch a bottom-tier battle rapper perform a struggle rap anthem That's f**ked up Man, no one's tryin' to hear you struggle-rap on a bunch of whiny records What, you tryna be the Asian Chess? Who are you, f**kin' Chinese Checkers? Dawg, you are cotton-soft All your videos look like you turn the comments off You tried to donate all your merch when you were out there and even Pacquiao didn't want a box Against dudes like this, if the crowd even sorta feels like he's gotten off, that's an auto-loss So if there's gas, I'll prob'ly just throw the towel in...to a Molotov Curtains closed These days, my energy reserve is low Burning coal, barely just enough to make the furnace glow These nerds got the nerve to go, "I don't think he deserves it, though." I just, keep pressin' like, Heath Ledger in the nurse's clothes Came up, now watch the world below catchin' vertigo So close wit' the most work to go: it's his 3rd & goal I take it personal They look at me like, "Yeah, he wouldn't hurt a soul." But there are Jews that'll glove up everywhere You seen the Bernie pose I've heard your quotes You told a dude: "While you were at home tryin' to think of a double entendre I was savin' up for another truck: I'm tryna double the Tundra" Oh yeah...oh yeah Kool-Aid Man voice Y'all never heard a punch so deep I- I ain't even dig that from a old battle - that's, like, a month-old reach I lose brain cells every time this dumbo speaks Your favorite show as a kid was the microwave, and you had front-row seats You're a f**kin' idiot Oh, so that Toyota Tundra's your dream car, huh? You fan-cy It's kind of a big vehicle for someone your size You might wanna start wit' that Cam-re (Camry) I mean, you were good pre-us (Prius) But you 'ave a long (Avalon) to go to get back to that peak I think you like battle rap 'cause it's the only place where you don't feel like you can't reach Damn geek You actually beat Jey The Nitewing on AHAT The battle's trash You and Sir Mix-a-Lot both Seattle cats Makes sense - you got one big hit in your whole career, and even that was ass Dawg, you are the Oddjob of battle rap And you think that's just a short Asian joke when I say that But remember, Oddjob was also known for catchin' a few bodies with a hat (AHAT) I mean, they gas you You know, you're not that good, but you're a nice guy and you're enthusiastic When he battles big names, he does that nod like, "Mmm, this is a classic" while he's getting his ass kicked! You a lame! You're only here 'cause of Seattle dudes gassin' you Does some tryhard sh*t every battle with a pretentious f**kin' attitude Like your last joint Made your third round 24 bars in honor of Kobe, which I admit was a classy move I hope Derek Jeter dies just so you end your next round after two That's time I'mma start the second round slow, you know...steal your wit Let the crowd lose interest - they get real bored, quick Nah, but it's your skills You could chill, and it's still gon' hit Nah, it's 'cause you're trash Your punk ass don't even feel your sh*t They said you was pumpin' iron before the lockdown I don't mean the fire spark But you would show up to work when the gym close (clothes) What's that...Ivy Park? I'm not sayin' this guy's a narc His rhymes are sharp He can at least provide comedic relief when times get dark Your URL battle rap attributes could say..."Snide Remarks" Reppin' for the Internet gangstas and the cyber Sharks Don't try to bark like you top dog! You not a threat Your name XQZ...it's far down from the alpha, bet (alphabet) Why would they expect you to excite the media? Those letters you chose...they're already the worst-sellin' encyclopedias For real, and Brand Pages be nukin' that sh*t, but... I'm fallin' back You look like you struggle wit' addiction Errybody (dictionary) saw you lost to The Saurus Sore loser - but that's how all men act (almanac) And you wanna act like XQZ- I knew that name came from some nerd 'Til a hit make ya (Hitmaka) change ya name like some- like Yung Berg But...they wanted this to be a fight, it's a exhibition Battle rap, real life: that's two categories X a b*t*h in You claim you made a name for yourself on your lil' expedition Face it, you had to make up (makeup) your career: you a esthetician Hindsight 20-20: I got extra vision Your style's so last year, bringin' up the rear's not a sex position I already killed Mr. XtrA, now that X is missin' Whoever next (necks) get twisted: that's an exorcism You are just a victim And why would I allow him to live on my mind rent-free when he was just a victim (evict him)? It is what it is, that's how it's gon' be They takin' shots at Patron...these rounds on me Beating Mr. XtrA's kind of a weird flex, but... But uh, battle rap keeps gettin' bigger And having been a fan for so long, it makes me proud I hope another decade from now, y'all are sellin' stadiums out and fillin' bank accounts I said, some fans are saying it's lost the feel 'cause there ain't a crowd and it's more mainstream now But I think it's 'cause there's more battlers than ever with a similar formula all their styles are based around And history shows what this can lead to Right now, we're movin' in the same direction I said, everyone's stocks are soarin' and y'all placed your bets on what appear to be some safe investments But if you keep mass-producing the same sh*t without paying attention We'll tank the engine, and the only way it's headin' is a Great Depression This is history repeating right now It's straight out a science-fiction novel It's the start of the '20s, we're in a pandemic, society is gettin' hostile You could make a living doin' goofy sh*t or stripping like the sh*t was vaudeville And this industry's booming 'cause every guy's assembling lines off the same initial model To a T, history repeats And another example: your name's a liquor bottle And right after all the sh*t I just mentioned went down, Prohibition followed You gone! I can't let these copycats eat So keep that in mind before you send the contract link I'm here to bring originality, not pander to some goddamn sheep... I'm kidding, bro - it's a tryout battle It's f**kin' not that deep I'm on vacation, and best believe I'm comin' off a stressful week I just left Chicago where's it's 10 degrees to 70s with a gentle breeze So I'm poolside - (*shh*) - twistin' refreshing drinks, testin' recipes Like "How do you make an Arnold Palmer in Arizona?" Just add a lemon squeeze! I'm downtown, rented Humvee with comfy seating 'Til I catch Patron walkin' alone like, "I must be dreaming." Blade unsheathed, Crocodile Dundee treatment He takes his first step and just accepts it like junkies at monthly meetings Then (*fft-fft*) Lookin' like he got rugby cleated He don't know if I hacked his face or his mixtape But the cuts keep leakin' I- (*XQZ takes a break to sip from a flask*) We good The cuts keep- yeah, we good Said, Hell in a Cell match: sh*t's lookin' ugly on a flip Soon as he turns around, gun-butt across his sh*t I mean, it's only right I was a drunk, obnoxious, stubborn college kid sh*t, I'm used to sneakin' Patron wit' somethin' off the hip I said, even if you don't wanna hear that tough guy murder sh*t from a suburban kid Y'all gave me the only dude on the card I could really beat up So I kinda took that as encouragement It's no pressure! Either way, at any point in this tournament 'Cause at this point in my career, one more failure wouldn't hurt a bit See, my fans call me "The Best-Kept Secret" But for, like, 10 years, I've been stuck in this lane At first, it was cool...now it's a bit much And over time, it gets tough to explain Like the fact that you're this height named after some top-shelf That sh*t's f**kin' insane Best-Kept Secret? Patron? Either way, the discussion's the same 'Cause we both need to step on a bigger to really live up to our name That's time And when they show previews of our battle, you gon' have to cope wit' your failure But the killers think We're The Millers They knew it was dope from the trailer How I get matched up wit' XQZ And here I am tryin' to live my life excuse-free? Unapologetic Any doubt and we could set it He can be Steve Rifkind: he still wouldn't get Loud in a Record I tried to picture him wit' his hat turned back, jeans sagged But you one of the good boys Oh, you been bagged I peeped the game, studied your composition You thought if you remain coy, you'll (coil) be fine, but there's somethin' missin' Backbones You lack those in the lines you spittin' You ever pulled the spiral off the notebook? All I hear is spineless writtens And you college-ruled, I still won't hold ya If I was to keep it a stack, I'd let my people from Manila fold ya (folder)
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