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Hundred days I slept alone Faded off of methadone Use it as a stepping stone Now my fade is set in stone More the take, the less I know Boy I made a mess I know Asking me if I'm okay I'd rather just be left alone A bump of coke, numb my nose Headed down a bumpy road Spend a couple months alone Caught up in a undertow I was feeling wonderful But now I'm so uncomfortable Lightning crashing, thunder rolling I'm fighting for my f*cking soul Wifey come in and cut the coke Living like my life is trash And I am in a rush to go Vanished in a puff of smoke Panic cause I'm broke How the f*ck am I suppose to sleep tonight? Now I'm close to fiending Fight the feeling, I ain't feeling right Isolated with my thoughts That's what I prefer to be Think you giving gifts to get me lifted bitch you cursing me I wonder if it's purposely Now I need it urgently But ain't no sense of urgency And I can feel the urge in me If you come between me and my demon, you be pushed aside Think I might skip out of town tonight, I'm 'bout to book a flight Had my future looking bright, I don't know what happened to it Running down this path of ruin, now I'm Under Bad Influence Started as a teen when I was smoking marijuana see Told my family look away from me, no you don't wanna see Dance with Mr. Brownstone, and plunge it in my artery Now what I cook up in spoon is permanently part of me Open wide and swallow me, hope my son don't follow me Told my girl don't coddle me and told my friend don't father me Go away don't bother me, just please don't let my mama see Sick without a cure I need a script from out the pharmacy I try my hand in Vyvanse, Percocet, Ritalin, and Adderall Welbutrin and Trazodone, Seroquel and Risperdal Vivitrol, Lamotrigine, Cymbalta, and Rufenal Propofol, Abilify, Topamax, and Tramadol Klonopin and Lithium, Depakote and Diazepam Vicodin, Celexa, Gabapentin, and an Ativan Loratadine, Fentanyl, Lexapro, Zyprexa And a 100 other f*cking drugs you don't know the effect of I need Vodka, Tequila, I need Bourbon, Scotch, Whiskey I need Gin without the tonic, I won't ever stop stiffly I won't ever quit quickly, when I quit I get sickly Sipping now I got tipsy, let my nemesis get me Now to start my car I breathalyze My brain drain anesthetized Told me I'm depressed but they ain't tell me 'bout SSRIs Opioid affect alive, a crisis causing death to rise Pharmaceutical, they serve 'em 'cross the counter, weaponize Searching for another fix, how the f*ck it come to this? Angry with the government brother and I am numb as shit Take a chance and run the risk of shaking hands with scum to get a couple grams, I catch a lick but I can't get enough of it Focalin to stay awake, Xanny just to sleep at night Trouble with addiction causing friction now I'm demonized Staring at the reaper's eyes I don't think nobody else can save me but you're free to try Catch another felony and I'll be facing three to five Running from reality, won't let my children see my eyes 'Stead of playing hide and seek with him I'm playing seek and hide If I end up overdosing dead, nobody'd be surprised A relief from pain in exchange for altered brain chemistry A ball and chain, it seem they always make the same recipe Profit off the sick and poor, it's not a major mystery They monetize the cure and lace the cure you gave me with disease Open wide and swallow me, hope my son don't follow me Told my girl don't coddle me and told my friend don't father me Go away don't bother me, just please don't let my mama see Sick without a remedy unless I get the pharmacy
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