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The Last Bristolian Pirate
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The Longest Johns
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Oh I used to be a farmer and I made a living fine I had a little stretch of land, along the western line But times were hard and though I tried the money wasn't there And bankers came and took my land and told me: "fair is fair." I looked for every kind of job, the answer always: "no" "Hire you now?", they'd always laugh, "we just let twenty go" The government they promised me a measly little sum But I've got too much pride to end up just another bum And I said: "who gives a damn if all the jobs are gone I'm going to be a pirate on the river Severn!" (Yarr!) And it's a- heave-ho hi-ho Coming down the plains Stealing wheat and barley and all the other grains And it's a- ho-hey hi-hey farmers bar your doors When you see the Jolly Roger on the Severn's mighty shores You'd think the other farmers would know that I'm at large But just the other day I saw an unsuspecting barge I snuck up right behind them and they were none the wiser I rammed their boat and sank it and I stole the fertilizer!
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