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At Home With the Animals
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Ryan Adams
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While you were reading the black Bible in the sun I was half drunk out the window of a moving city bus Wilder than the devil, like a tiger in the brush Louder than an atom bomb that only you could hush Spinning like the Earth and Moon, but never really touched Alone, the ways I wanted to be loved You were not enough While your head was bowed and hands praying to God I was swinging from the chandeliers like some endangered animal Somewherе in New Orleans on the run Likе I just won the lottery, with God-knows-what inside of me Hair a mess and shoelaces undone Of all the ways I wanted you You were not the one While they were teaching you how Moses split the sea I was in an airplane bathroom doing speedballs off the sink High as any angel moving at the speed of sound Someplace over Germany, moving through the clouds Winking back at stewardesses, supplying me with ale Big-hooped golden earrings, staying at the same hotel Of all the ways I wanted you to hold me I could not be held While you were waiting for the doctor in the chair I was stoned riding the cyclone at the Onslow County Fair The stars above us sparkled like they didn't pay the bill Smokes behind the haunted house, chugging stolen beers Cotton candy kisses underneath the Ferris wheel Of all the ways you wanted me to feel I could never heal While you were waiting in the depot for the train I was asleep on stolen cargo in the back of someone's plane Halfway back to Florida from Cuba in the rain Low enough to feel the water from the spraying waves Underneath the radar hauling crates of pure cocaine Hung over and laughing high above the Everglades Of all the ways I wanted to be tamed I was just insane While you were waiting in the lobby for your man I was working at the circus as a garbage man Remembering that winter you were in a long black coat I'm at home with the animals, knife at my own throat You hear the bells of freedom, but the chains all just say "nope" If I was the T**anic, you were pink clouds and blue smoke Rising over Hemingway in an old man's fishing boat Of all the things I wanted you to be Of all the things I wish that you were now You were not around You were not around
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