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When the Kids Are Gone
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Ray Stevens
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Once our lives were all about kids All about kids and the things kids did Me and the missus and Little League games And then one year when the summertime came I said, "I think they're old enough To go to summer camp and do summer camp stuff" So we signed them up for a two-week stint My wife said to me just before they went "What are we gonna do when the kids are gone For two long weeks and we're all alone? Will we know how to act here on our own? What are we gonna do" (What are we gonna do) "When the kids are gone?" And I said, "Hmm" "Make love in the kitchen and howl at the moon Run butt-naked through the dining room" (Butt-naked, butt-naked through the dining room) "Stay out late with all of our friends And run hog-wild 'til the summer camp ends" Well, there was dating and proms and graduation Off to college for more education Then one day, it became real clear That it wouldn't be long 'til they wouldn't be here Once again, my wife said "What are we gonna do when the kids are grown When they're all moved out and we're on our own? When we get back our lives and our telephone Said what are we gonna do" (What are we gonna do) "When the kids are grown?" And I said, "Let's see, heh-heh-heh" "We'll make love in the kitchen and howl at the moon Run butt-naked through the dining room" (Butt-naked, butt-naked, butt-naked, butt-naked) "Buy a red Corvette and a silver van And run hog-wild 'til we're in Depends" Then one day the children sat us both down Said, "We see you're having trouble just getting around We'd hate to see you come to some harm So we're sending you off to the Sunset Farms" My wife cried, and said "What are we gonna do when they put us in the home When the kids sell off everything we own? When our hearing and our vision and our teeth are gone Now what are we gonna do" (What are we gonna do) "When they put us in the home?" And I said, "Heh-heh-heh" "Make love in the kitchen and howl at the moon Run butt-naked through the dining room" (Butt-naked, butt-naked, butt, butt, butt-naked) "If they tell us that we can't, we'll just do it again And run hog-wild 'til the whole thing ends" "Make love in the kitchen and howl at the moon Run butt-naked through the dining room" (Butt, butt, butt, butt, butt, butt, butt-naked) "If they tell us not to do it, we'll just do it again And run hog-wild 'til this whole thing ends" "Make love in the kitchen and howl at the moon Run butt-naked through the dining room" (Butt-naked, naked, naked, naked, naked, naked, naked) "If they tell us, 'Don't do that', we'll just do that again And run hog-wild 'til this whole thing ends"
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