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Don’cha pinch me, Charlie
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Original London Cast of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
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(Charlie searches for treasure at the dump when Mrs. Pratchett’s sweet stall pa**es. A rich couple order a few bars of chocolate before dinner. Charlie watches them hungrily. As they leave, they drop some money. Encouraged by the Tramp, Charlie realises it’s just enough for a bar of Chocolate. He buys one. What he finds inside is so exciting that it prompts Grandpa Joe (as well as the other grandparents) to get out of bed and walk for the first time in forty years! Yes, Charlie has a winning ticket!) Grandpa Joe, how d’ja know That I’d be coming home today With something good, something gold Something special that I can hold Mr. Wonka, how d’ja do? Tomorrow morning I’ll be seeing you! Charlie… what is it? Grandpa Joe… we won! Charlie, get my uniform From high upon the shelf And dust off all the years since it’s been worn I admit for quite a while I haven’t been me self But spread the news! A new Joe has been born (gasp) Though I haven’t walked in years Change my oil and check my gears Give my hair a clip and whip my shaving cream But don’t, don’t Don'cha pinch me, Charlie I don’t wanna wake up from this golden dream Joe! What are you doing? We are going to visit a chocolate factory! But, Joe, you can’t walk! Walk? I could run a four minute mile. Just like I did in the ’48 Olympics. (sung) Josephina, get the thread And needle from the kit I’m sure the moths have had a woolly chew And you won’t have to “alterate” Me trousers will still fit Cause I haven’t et since I was 22 While your mother starts to dress me And your dad can iron and press me Press the pedal to the kettle for the steam But don’t, don’t Don'cha pinch me, Charlie I don’t wanna wake up from this golden dream It’s a miracle! It’s an accident waiting to happen. Oh, Charlie, if I’m sleepin’ Let my dreaming heart keep leapin’ Cause the cabbage-y days have gone without a trace Woah! And if I never waken What a trip I will have taken You can bury me with a smile upon my face Woah! Charlie, get my dancing shoes From out the Pullman trunk And get ready for the Bucket buck-and-wing Joe! I don’t need a pint of whiskey Cause I already feel drunk You’re intoxicating as the first of spring Yes, I’m creaky and I’m olden But your ticket, oh, so golden ‘S’got me floatin’ like I’m boatin’ down the stream But don’t, don’t Don'cha pinch me, Charlie I don’t wanna wake up from this golden dream (spoken) Come on, Josephine, George, Georgina Get up, get out of bed… We’re not going to take this lying down! Tell those bluebirds down in Dover Empty bucket days are over We’ll have no more cabbage suppers Now I’ll have to wear me uppers While the whole world travels steerage We’ll be listed in Burke’s Peerage Well, the first thing we should do Is to down a pint or two! From underneath me fallen arches I’ll lead military marches With our luck we’ll play the horses We can even get divorces! We’ll be royal! We’ll be posh! Does that mean I’ll have to wash? A little travelling music please I’m surprised we still have knees! Cherry, where are you? Jerry, I’m in a shack Where unlikely urchin Charlie Bucket has won the very last Golden Ticket. Charlie, how do you feel? Oh, when the sun came out today My life was still the same I picked the same old rubbish after school Then suddenly a chocolate bar Was calling out my name And showing me the wonka golden rule I never flew a kite that flies Never ever won a prize Was always sick When they would pick the winning team But don’t, don’t Don'cha pinch your… Charlie! I don’t wanna wake up from this golden dream (spoken) Take it away, Grandpa Joe! Well, I was always certain That my luck would never change I lost the will to ever leave me bed Ever leave our bed All my four leaf clovers wilted And my rabbit’s foot had mange Mange The genie in the bottle turned up dead Quite dead Seemed like nobody could hear us No parade would ever cheer us Ah, but major luck now plays our Bucket theme Ba ba ba ba! So don’t, don’t Don'cha pinch me, Charlie I don’t wanna wake up from this golden dream Yes, we’re feeling optimistic Though a touch somnambulistic Please don’t startle us 'cause we must be in a trance It’s so dreamy that we hope ya Someday visit our utop’ya Why just walk in your sleep When you can sing and dance Go on, Charlie! With both me feet back on the floor It’s like the day we won the war And the victory is all because of you So now hip, hip, hip hooray for Hip, hip, hip hooray for Hip, hip, hip hooray for Charlie You’re the one who made our golden dreams come true Hip! Hip!
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