Correction Paroles The 50 State Nightmares par Neil Cicierega

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Paroles

Ah, the United States. Each is unique, and beautiful in it's own way.
And each has an official nightmare to call it's own. Here are all 50.

Alabama: You're stuck in a fridge that's been turned to face a wall.

Alaska: You look at your feet, and see bones!

Arkansas: An unscrupulous realtor sells your house while you are in the bathroom.

Arizona: Terrorists put bear traps everywhere.

California: A prospector thinks there's gold inside you!

Colorado: You find a tiny, dead human body inside a vacuum bag.

Connecticut: A great storm decimates your stock of cattle.

Delaware: A serial killer with a big b***.

Florida. Florida has no official statе nightmare.

Georgia: A laughing farmer makеs you kiss a withered, dying pig.

Hawaii: A talking egg begs you to crush it.
Idaho: Your dad dies after a small, static shock from a doorknob.

Illinois: Multiplying crying babies.

Indiana: A dog is going to bite you unless you complete a game of Myst!

Iowa: Stuck on the real Gilligan's Island, you find everybody's skeletons.

Kansas: A recurring childhood nightmare about Bananahead: a man with a banana... for a head.

Kentucky: You pick up a hat from the floor, and there's a brain underneath!

Louisianna: Trying to find a bathroom on the T**anic, while it's sinking.

Maine: Your pet wolf attacks you.

Maryland: You're sitting on an airplane next to the puppets from Puppetmaster.

Ma**achusetts: Careening downhill on Heelys.

Michigan: Santa Claus just keeps bopping you with a huge exercise ball.

Minnesota: A surgeon pours Spaghetti-Os into your chest.

Mississippi: You accidentally break a flute that represents your imagination.
Missouri: Grammy warned you not to talk to the wind... but you went ahead and talked to the wind, didn't you? Grammy warned you!

Montana: You left the stove on in your apartment ten years ago, and now you have to travel back through every apartment you've had since to get back to that one, and turn the stove off.

Nebraska: Meat ghost!

Nevada: An extremely gory version of TRON.

New Hampshire: So, you're in a clawfoot bathtub, and you look behind you, and Jesus Christ is in the bathtub with you, and his hands are bleeding into the bathwater-

New Jersey: You find a room in your house that you never knew about, and all your old pets are in there, just starving to death.

New Mexico: An IRS auditor keeps hugging you.

New York: Not a nightmare, so much as a genuinely sad dream about the death of Mario.

North Carolina: A little candle man keeps burning your legs.

North Dakota: You're pregnant with Invader Zim.

Ohio: Once again, you fall for a human-sized mousetrap.

Oklahoma: A married couple of venomous spiders make you the target of their sick game.

Oregon: Your computer has a virus, and it's killing your online friends.
Pennsylvania: There's a shark loose in church!

Rhode Island: You somehow just know that your soul is gone.

South Carolina: Trying in vain to silence your alarm clock, for decades.

South Dakota: That wall has a tongue!

Tennessee: A realistic, medieval prison experience.

Texas!: You're buried alive wearing the Big Bird costume.

Utah: Evil, sexual genie.

Vermont: A scary king makes you eat vegetables.

Virginia: Fighting in the Civil War, and trying to win an eBay auction, at the same time.

Washington: Heath Ledger's Joker won't stop asking you to the prom.

West Virginia: You try to tell the cops that there's a fire-breathing dragon in the sky, but whenever they look, it's just a flying, n*** man.

Wisconsin: Julie Andrews yells at you to shut up.

Wyoming: Tickled by a caveman.

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