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To think you could be sitting watching telly by the fire Instead of being subjected to this To think someone suggested you'd be pleasantly surprised And wouldn't feel the need to boo and hiss Well blame your partner Direct that flak at your partner Though yes, I'll accept I'm the focus Of your ire Gail and Sonia Have gone downtown on a hen night And they won't be back until daylight One assumes This is like the dream you feared you'd dream about one night This is where you never want to be This is where some fella standing next to you may shout “Do that one about the Zuiderzee!” Hold your horses We might play one you'll relate to A song you could even gyrate to In a while Ooh, baby Sue the dating agency maybe They should have sent you Robert of Blaby In his Merc (Blaby's in Leicestershire) Home sweet home Facebook, Gogglebox, wine Who's Stuart Boam And why's he swimming in brine? Yes of course I realise now we're not your cup of tea Even worse, it's late and you're still here Possibly, just possibly, we've raised a knowing smile Though probably you just need further beer Mine's a pint of Thatcher's Entirely Blameless And we shall forever be nameless You and I Gail and Sonia I think may've played a joke on ya So by way of small consolation I decree Your ordeal is over here
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