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Barney Stinson vs. Sheldon Cooper
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(Sitcom Laugh Track) Rap Battle! Barney Stinson! Versus! Sheldon Cooper! Begin! Ted, hold my drink where are all the blondes hidden? I came here to pick up chicks not pick fights with chickens Cause wimps like you just aren't my type of women Freeze! Here's how I put the bar in Barney Stinson I can tell you're lacking any friends to love Work alone cause you don't have good chemistry with anyone And your look is flavourless like all of your later skits You really took your character devеlopment and said "Wait for it" The Fahrenhеit is just as numbing as your face tonight Get your mom to test your case of crazy eyes But I can tell you're slow so I'll explain it in your slang How I Met Your Mother? It started with a Big Bang I'll have you know I'm a theoretical physicist But I bet that this idiot doesn't get what the difference is I just can't watch how you're collecting numbers at your friends' cost Take a seat, Swarley and listen to my Ted talk Welcome to Fun With Flags we got a red flag today Which was raised by many of Barney's questionable plays There's a line of sexual harassment charges against you, stud Better law... suit up You're the greatest at dancing? A most illogical statement I've done the math on your playbook and after various equations I've found if you plug the numbers erase pity as a factor The sum of women you end up with is equal to your actor And I'm the master at conducting these tracks I thought you had fire magic you should have used it in your raps But when it comes to making sense I'm swimming in many While nowadays you're struggling to earn a Penny Tell that laugh track that plays after every two words Your showrunners are Sith Lords forcing laughs at this loser I call dibs on babes before they take off their blouse You call dibs on printing your asscheeks on the couch Your jokes are way too basic like who the hell would say this It's no surprise a scientist's humor is formulaic I'm too sick You suck at everything that you do, kid Call this battle virginity It's the only time you'd lose it (Oh!) You've gotten nowhere with the life path you're walking What's you expect following in the footsteps of Stephen Hawking I invoke the Lemon Law I'm ending this speed date Only player you'll ever be in during PC games You're right, I shouldn't target you You got an awesome life and I'm jealous of your Barnitude It's hard to pick the right chic to ring up But even I can tell that Robin doesn't wanna be your sidekick Bazinga! From your dad's abandonment to the babies you're ditching I'm fairly certain this battle marks your first real commitment Before you'd suit up you couldn't get anyone aroused You were such a hippie your first girl peaced out Who's actually the one lacking social skills? You! Fell in love with yourself because you had no one else to You utterly disgust me Leonard, please save me from this walking pile of STDs Who won? Who's next? You decide! The next rap battle is on the way!
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