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The Ballad Of Kelly
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Footprints In The Custard
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Holy shit you’re f*cking disgusting Your one ring must be rusting I’d never put my finger inside The deep dark depths where the orcs all hide I’m not touching your Mt. Doom And neither would Orlando Bloom Cast a spell to hide your face You’re Middle Earth’s sickest disgrace Have you ever seen someone so ugly you could die? So hideous that you could skull-f*ck Sauron’s eye Or do it with a dwarf and get it in his beard ‘Cause a girl who looks like Smeagol is something to be feared Hobbits live in hills for reasons To side from you throughout the seasons You’re the reason the Ring-Wraiths screech And fly so high out of reach I’m not touching your giant eagle Not with a face like f*cking Smeagol You should be locked up in a cage So say the Elves, wise and aged
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