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A monster lives under my bed He promised good feelings as his eyes turned red I hear him whisper gentle nothings as I try to fall asleep He says this time, this time the serotonin will keep But I ignore him, and try to drift away without a single peep His crooked arm peers out and hands me a shiny red pill He speaks they all will love you, and your heart will be fulfilled I take it, swallow it with my blood because I don't want to feel this way still Camera, lights, and a tiny bit of action Connect your dots, and find the spot, these images are they matching The image of a happy man, and me within the lights Me standing in this cash and all these kids just flying kites They scream my name they shout and cheer, and I just stand here feeling empty More and more I want, it's all just so damn tempting People know my name, people know my face But the people I love, I feel so erased They love you, you've helped them, but you don't know how to, how to help yourself They're cheering, it's okay, got so much money and so much wealth Maybe now they'll listen, maybe they'll understand That these words don't just glisten They have so much meaning to this young man It started as a way, I wanted them to hear me I didn't know how to talk, so I made it sound pretty But instead I was greeted with applause When all I ever wanted was a pause and gentle acceptance Standing in the spotlight yet I feel so alone That f**king pill I took, it should've been a loan Standing in the spotlight yet I feel so alone That f**king pill I took, it should've been a loan Standing in the spotlight yet I feel so alone That f**king pill I took, it should've been a loan Told you once, I won't tell you again I'm haunted by my forever sin Playing this music so I can't hear them The lonesome people, and broken men I put on a show for you my beloved I pushed my sh*t down, I'm above it If I smile then I know they'll take my picture And it won't make me stay just to miss her They see right through me, abandoned glass I put myself down, a half raised mast Unwanted, unworthy, and certain to be gone soon Unfathomed, unneeded, and wishing for my room They laugh while I cry They ask and I lie They sip and I sigh I'm not sad just shy I see they are happy without me So I might as well pack my own grave and leave My god I just want to feel okay My god I just want to live another day I just want to be okay
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