AJOUTER PAROLES
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Isabella James (9th Symphony) or; Bookends (Part 2)
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Edna St. Vincent Millay
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Part One Do not stand at my grave and weep I am not there, I do not sleep I am a thousand winds that blow I am the diamond glint on snow I am the sunlight on ripened grain I am the gentle autumn rain When you wake in the morning hush I am the swift, uplifting rush Of the birds in circled flight I am the soft stars that shine at night Do not stand at my grave and cry I am not there, I did not die! Part Two I have deconstructed myself to the point that I am no longer human I am but I a series of metaphors vaguely linked by the idea of femininity I am a disgusting performative version of what I wish I was I am just an idea in your head This is my dying drеam This is, this is my dying dream And I am lying there on my dеathbed This is what I'll be thinking I mean, like, I will be soon enough anyway Statistically speaking, in, like, two or three months I’ll be homeless or I'll have killed myself I'll be dead, but it’s OK Part Three What lips my lips have kissed, and where, and why I have forgotten, and what arms have lain Under my head till morning; but the rain Is full of ghosts tonight, that tap and sigh Upon the glass and listen for reply And in my heart there stirs a quiet pain For unremembered lads that not again Will turn to me at midnight with a cry Thus in the winter stands the lonely tree Nor knows what birds have vanished one by one Yet knows its boughs more silent than before I cannot say what loves have come and gone I only know that summer sang in me A little while, that in me sings no more Part Four I used to feel comfortable when I slept But I don't anymore I keep on having nightmares As cheesy as that sounds I'm always in a forest And I'm being held in the arms of a woman, a ginger woman I don't know why but I always start running The trees become a maze they tangle themselves together and block my path Suddenly the trees are bricks and suddenly the bricks are mirrors I have no choice but to look at myself Be surrounded by myself And then I wake up I wake up into a body I hate Feeling things I don't want to feel But not emotional things physical things Sometimes I don't know if I can feel emotions anymore But when I do they're so overwhelming Dysphoria, unrequited love, sadness It’s those three on a sequel I don’t even have the nerves to kill myself I can see her underneath myself I can see her crawling in my skin I just want a take a knife and carve her out The secret girl within I detest myself with a writhing angst The kind of motion in a mass grave I hate the way I consumed this role The role of a war not of play I feed myself on lies you tell me Cause you don't want the truth I didn’t f**king ask to be born Into a say I couldn't sooth Yet here I am alone again Here I am dependent again Here I am a man again A woman never to you?
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