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Dirt Nasty
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These days, when I wanna sit down to watch a movie, I can find just about anything in the world. But night after night, there's only one kinda movie I'm always looking for And that's a short-a** movie A really short movie Like, at most, an hour-forty Gimme that short-a** movie A short-a** movie A really short movie 'Cause you know I ain't gon' sit here And watch no long-a** movie Found a flick, I'm 'bout to pick it But right before I click it I look down right below the line And that's when I see the runtime Three hours forty-seven minutes? Bro, you must be crazy No thanks, I'mma watch a short-a** movie like Driving Miss Daisy I'm not pushin' "P" unless it's under two hours Like Lion King or Bad Moms or all three Austin Powers I heard that Batman was great, so went to a theater and saw it I p*ssed my pants twice, that s--- was longer than The Hobbit Gimme that short-a** movie A 90-minute movie Like Liar Liar, Evil Dead, Punch-Drunk Love, or Eraserhead A short-a** movie A really short movie 'Cause I'm a simple man With no attention span Gimme a short-a** movie like Bambi Got to be tiny but good like shrimp scampi And when it's movie night, you won't be gettin' any yesses If you roll up to the crib with one of them double VHSs Why this movie look like a book? Bye bye! I always keep it a hundred Keep the runtime under a hundred If my a** stuck on the couch for more than two hours It cause me discomfort We tried to watch the movie Heat When we was hanging at my house But barely 20 minutes in My boys were drooling on the couch The only one not sleeping is the weird guy who picked the movie I stand by my choice Gimme that short-a** movie A really short movie Like Encino Man, yes please Or Good Time by the Safdies A short- a** movie A really short movie If it's long, my eyes get gla**y Now tell 'em how it is, Dirt Nasty Yo, it's your boy Dirt If you really like short movies I got nine great ones just waitin' for ya There's Ernest Goes to Camp and Ernest Saves Christmas And Ernest Goes to Jail and Ernest Scared Stupid There's Ernest Goes to School, that's only 89 minutes And Slam Dunk Ernest, that one's got Kareem in it There's Ernest in the Army, that one made me wanna join the service And Ernest Goes to Africa, that poster makes me nervous But the greatest thing of all, a true thing of beauty Is the three minute short before every Pixar movie It was so short but so sad Yo, so think about this: Sex and the City 2 was two hours and 26 minutes long. To put that in perspective, the movie Jura**ic Park was two hours and seven minutes long. That was a movie that told the history of dinosaurs, how DNA works, and explained the science of bringing dinosaurs back to life. And Sex and the City 2 , y'know, which was a movie about four women we already knew, was 20 minutes longer. I'm not saying that's bad or anything, I'm just saying that's crazy s---, right? How long was The King of Staten Island? It was, it was, like, two hours and 17 minutes, but we needed, we needed all those minutes Gimme a short-a** movie A really short movie Gimme a short-a** movie A really short movie Every night
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