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Puncture Wounds to Heaven
par
Casey
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I barely Notice as you pick up all the pieces How long have I been like this? You must be tired, and I'm still trying To find the words to compensate For how vacant I've been today Can't believe that I would take You for granted, God, I hate myself For letting you shoulder the weight for two If it gets too much to hold I won't blame you if you go In every conversation, you fight for my attention But I can feel the ennui that wears down your affections Does it help if I say that I'm sorry? I know you must be tired But I'm scared because I No longer recognise myself So whose role have I been modelled after? Mother's warmth and father's laughter Yet somewhere in between with my anxieties and guilt Oh, what is the price of my reprieve if not a life of misery? Held hostage by a blade of shame With your name at the hilt But I still can't Find the words to compensate for how vacant I have been Never meant to take you for granted, but I know that I did God, I hate myself for how you must think about me now Know how much it hurts to grieve But please don't hate me if I leave
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