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My Toilet Is a Portal to Hell
par
Billy Cobb
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When I bought my house I felt there's something wrong in here It's not the secret passageways or creepy chandeliers It's coming from the room where I wash my hands and poop The Hell gate in my toilet's what I fear The plumbers that I've called have all been chased out the house And I hate when I find demon babies gnawing on my couch There's hell hounds on the roof, gremlins eating all my food And soon I will be 6 feet underground My toilet's a portal to the underworld Gotta wipe away my sins My toilet's a portal to the underworld And you just might fall in I get so nervous when I'm on the john And I start to hear my name But the next thing you know I'm looking down And I see a bowl of flames And I loved hearing demonic voices when I take a sh*t And my as*h**e tends to be on fire every time I sit The next time my ass is blazed, I will p*ss on Satan's face 'cause frankly now I'm getting sick of it When I have guests I sometimes wonder why they take so long And when I check they've always been seduced by Satan's song The murder's blamed on me, at least in the penitentiary I can take a crap without the demon spawns My toilet's a portal to the underworld Gotta wipe away my sins My toilet's a portal to the underworld And you just might fall in I get so nervous when I'm on the john And I start to hear my name But the next thing you know I'm looking down And I see a bowl of flames Ah! It feels so good to finally take a p*ss! Watch where you draw your flow! Aw sh*t, not again! (Laugh) It's time to bring out the plunger, motherf**ker! Oh no, please, not plunger! Die! (Laugh) (Toilet flush) My toilet's a portal to the underworld Gotta wipe away my sins My toilet's a portal to the underworld And you just might fall in I get so nervous when I'm on the john And I start to hear my name But the next thing you know I'm looking down And I see a bowl of flames My toilet's a portal to the underworld Gotta wipe away my sins My toilet's a portal to the underworld And you just might fall in I get so nervous when I'm on the john And I start to hear my name But the next thing you know I'm looking down And I see a bowl of flames (Toilet flush)
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