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The Third Crime Scene
par
Paul Shapera
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Letra
Kevin: Woah, where are we? Abi: I don't think this is New Albion Kevin: It's a small town. Maybe it's early New Albion? Abi: No, look at that sign. It says Dusty Falls Kevin: Oh, that's some town way to the west, on the way to the mountains Abi: When are we? Kevin: Look at that old car. It looks like around the time of the war Ryvyr: There's an outdoor market over there Kevin: Let's go take a look Pendant: Come to me, hear my song Abi: That pendant sure is determined *scrеam* Abi: There we go Kеvin: All right, let's get to the bottom of this Townspeople: There's murder at the market, there's termites in the wood Shenanigans have jumped right in and it ain't lookin good There's hanky in the panky, a lowlife here at hand We'll hang em before sunset if we can Kevin: And of course it's you three. Can I get your names? Solandra: I'm Solandra! Telna: I'm Telna S&T: And we're super best friends! Solandra: I love you, girl Telna: No girl, I love you Abi: You've got to be kidding me Telna: That's right. Solidarity sister Solandra: Sisters before misters Kevin: Your forever friendship warms my rodent heart. Ok, Telna, can you please tell me what's going on here Telna: Two strangers came to market from New Albion we thought They dressed all weird and had this strange ol' pedant so we got Up to talkin to em, they're heading further west to get Some message to the monastery, I think they said Telna: Someone named named Larry needed help Solandra: Lucas? Telna: Louie? Solandra: No, someone named Lloyd Telna: Yeah, some guy named Lloyd needed help. Anyway That pendant was real pretty thus Solandra and me Decided we should offer them, the strangers, special tea A secret ingredient we had to get from home So Solandra said, now Telna you should go Kevin: This secret ingredient wouldn't be poison would it? Telna: What? How could you? What a terrible thing to say! Solandra: Heavens gracious! I'm shocked and offended you would suggest such a thing Telna: I ran home to get it, but when I got back here instead The strangers they call Voodoopunk were both lying here dead The very pretty pendant is gone I have no clue What happened there was nothing I could do Kevin: Abi, check her pockets Telna: How dare you? Take your hands off me this instant! Abi: Well lookie here. Weasel root. A tasteless poison Telna: But I wasn't here. They died when I was gettin' it Kevin: Ok Solandra. I cannot wait to hear your version of events Solandra: Telna hurried home so we could give our guests a treat That pendant sure was beautiful but alas it sure beats me What happened they just dropped dead, they didn't last real long And now that pretty pendant is just gone But how I heard it singing, it was calling out to me It hypnotized, it captivized, like it was witchin me But how I wonder where its gone, I'm sure I don't recall A shame about them strangers dead and all Telna: But how could the pendant just disappear? You'd never take it without telling me, would you? Cause I mean, we agreed... Solandra: Ssh, quiet Kevin: Why did the Voodoopunks have the pendant in the first place? Abi: Probably to drop off at the monastery in the mountains Kevin: All right, Elliot, get over here Elias: My name is Elias Kevin: Whatever. Why don't you explain to us how much of a simp you are? Elias: My name is Elias Marsh, and I sell elixirs for your health If you're feeling run down, you're in luck, I have just the thing to help It's true I date Solandra she might be the love of my life I sure do hope to someday make her my wife Solandra sent Telna home to get the poi... I mean, the you know, secret thing But it turned out she already had some in her purse she's carrying She made some tea and told me that I should give it to the guests But they got really sick and well, you know the rest Townspeople: There's murder at the market, there's termites in the wood Shenanigans have jumped right in and it ain't lookin good There's hanky in the panky, a lowlifes here at hand We'll hang em before sunset if we can Solandra: So he admits to serving them the tea! Telna: Wait, you already had the stuff in your purse? Ryvyr: Where is my tribes' pendant? Pendant: Come to me, hear my song Solandra: W-- it just disappeared. I think Elias took it Elias: Sugar Dumpling! How could you say such a thing? Telna: You lying b*t*h! You took the pendant! But we agreed to share it! You promised! Solandra: I know you slept with Elias! Telna: one time! We were drunk! Elias: Four actually. I made little notches on my headboard to commemorate Solandra: You sl*t! Telna: You lying whore! Abi: Spell from hell time! Kevin: wow, that's a good spell Abi: There's really nothing to it, but it shuts them up Kevin: You should use that as your catchphrase Abi: What, spell from hell time? Kevin: Yeah, that's not bad Abi: But how often would I get to use it? Kevin: Like, once an episode? Abi: Hmm, it's a thought Kevin: Ok. Is everyone still here? Ryvyr, what are you doing? Ryvyr: Nothing. I'm just looking for my pendant Kevin: Just hang on. I believe I have the solution to this idiocy. If you're all ready, I'll explain it
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