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The Song Of The 7 Inch Cowboy
par
Pain (Band)
Regreso
Letra
I'm a seven-inch cowboy With a tiny pair of six guns Five'll get you ten I betcha never seen one Well I'm a seven inch cowboy, how do you be? And I'm used to people gawkin' and a-starin' at me But I wasn't always so gold*** wee Let me tell you my story, you can listen for free For seven long years - now that's a year for every inch I stand - I've traveled small and lonely down the byways of this giant land Like a country western Lilliputian too afraid to stop I'm at the bottom of the food chain whereas I once was at the top I wandered on foot, my horse had done abandoned me And every town I came to was like a terrible dream Other cowboys a-mocked me and spit tobacca like meteors Watchin' me dodge 'em and laughin' at my small squeaky scream I went to a saloon to get a drink, they wouldn't serve me They stuffed me in a gla** and slid me up and down the bar And all the barroom women gathered round and had their way with me They sang a song both cold and mean cause that's how women are They sang a man can pan for gold and strike it rich and be a millionaire Or ride the rodeo and be the best one at it anywhere Drive a brand new car, be a movie star Size is all that counts and there you are And I'm a seven-inch cowboy (Ooh) With a tiny pair of six guns (Ooh) Five'll get you ten (Ooh) I betcha never seen one (Ooh) Ah-oo-ee-oo-ee-oo Ah-oo-ee-oo-ee-oo Now as you can imagine, I'd grown pretty bitter Although that's the only way in which I had grown And in that seventh year I finally found my transgressor The man who had shrunk me, the worst fiend I'd ever known The mad Professor Mintley was his name and I drew near I hopped upon his shoulder and I grabbed him by the ear I held my little pistols up and I told him, "Lookee here You made me this way, it's time to pay you gold*** queer" And the professor said, "Wait Wait!" "Now you know me and I know you And you know that strange experiments are just what I do It's less like a pastime and more like a job Why, if I didn't do it, I'd be an unemployed slob Now I know that won't suffice, I find, to set you at ease But I'm thinking fast as I can for a man who's down on his knees And just this pa**ing moment I had a thought, here's what I thunk, I thought 'Where would you be today if you hadn't been shrunk?'" "Just another nameless cowboy, a mediocre bumpkin Riding in the sun, skin burnt the color of a pumpkin Reviled by the ladies, ridiculed by other men Nothing to set you apart, nor would there ever have been Then I came along, yes me, Professor Mintly I gave you a gift, though you ungrateful evidently I plucked you from your average status, I made you unique You're a seven inch cowboy, not a six foot freak From every corner of the globe folks will come to adore you Nations will bow and throw their riches before you You'll be diminutive in stature but a t**an inside Because I, your true friend, chose to stand by your side" Now I cogitated on the words Professor Mintley shared And I wondered if perhaps he only said ‘em cause he was scared My guns were weighing heavy in my hands, my heart was low When suddenly some old advice came to me soft and slow Well my pop told me it don't matter where a fella goes You can sail through icy straits and misty archipelagoes Travel to the moon, orbit every star Size don't really count and there you are You're still a man however big you are And I'm a seven-inch cowboy (Seven inches tall) With a tiny pair of six guns (Tiny, damn small) Five'll get you ten (For all you bettin' men) You'll never see another one (Hmph, yeah) I guess Professor Mintley had a point although I shot him anyway There's never been a gentleman like me and that is safe to say Well I thought real long and hard, so hard my brain is numb Now I say Hollywood (Hollywood!) Hollywood (Hollywood!) Hollywood here I come
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