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You Can't Call Me Kev Anymore
par
Kevin Bloody Wilson
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Letra
Got off the red high special from London, I'd been over there four or five weeks, Playin' gigs all over the place From Inverness to Southend-On-Sea, And me mates at the gate were waitin', "G'day Kev" they all shouted in chorus, I said "Hang on you blokes now look this is not a joke But you's can't call me Kev anymore", And they said "What? f*ckin' what?!" Gotta call me Mohammed Arkmahr Lickmahass Changed me name a bit since I seen you's last, But I ain't changed I just changed me name, To Mohammed Arkmahr Lickmahass.. At first they thought I was jokin', But they know I don't tell 'em porky pies I said, "You'll be trippin' on your tongue for a couple'a months But you'll get used to sayin' it after a while, Then the cans in the hands started shakin', As they slipped from their grip and hit the floor, I said I'm thinkin' 'bout this I'm not takin' the piss You just can't call me Kev anymore, And they said "What! f*ckin' what?!" Gotta call me Mohammed Arkmahr Lickmahass Changed my name a bit since I seen you's last, But I ain't changed I just changed me name, To Mohammed Arkmahr Lickmahass. You see I ran into this Arab bloke in London, He was drivin' a cab at the time, Bit of a fender bender in the car park And look, no one was hurt and we were both fine, Yep just a bit of a scratch and that was that, And, really no one was to blame, So instead'a gettin' the coppers involved We agreed to exchange names, "What? f*ckin' what?!" Swapped mine for Mohammed Arkmahr Lickmahass Changed my name with him since I seen you's last, But I ain't changed I just changed me name, To Mohammed Arkmahr Lickmahass. So if you see an Arab cabbie in London, With a funny little thingy on his head, And he's playin' camel music in his mini-cab, That'd be him, that'll be him, that'll be Kev, So slip him a tip if you think of it, When he drops you off where you gotta go, Then give him a decent slap on the back and say "Mohammed says hello", Then he says "What? f*cking what? My new friend, Mohammed Arkmahr Lickmahass He calls me Kev, funny bastard, Hope he's liking his new name, Mohammed Arkmahr Lickmahass. Mohammed Arkmahr Lickmahass".
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