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John Wick Vs John Rambo Vs John Mcclane
par
Epic Rap Battles Of History
Featuring(s) : Epiclloyd, Nice Peter & Zach Sherwin
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Letra
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY! JOHN WICK! VERSUS! JOHN MCCLANE! VERSUS!! JOHN RAMBO!!! BEGIN! [John Rambo, John Wick, John McClane] Alright, I guess I'll be the one to draw first blood Or maybe, you could draw an audience to see any of your new movies Come out to the coast, we'll have a few laughs, sounds sweet But no, I'm stuck here with these two jerkweeds About to kick their ass with bare feet Argyle, drop the beat [John McClane] I'll set it off like it's the top of Nakatomi Need a fire hose to swing on you, you're both so below me I haven't stopped killing it since Karl's brother Tony And I got your detonators right here, blow me (Oops!) Ship your booby traps home, Rambo Cause you'll nеver take the W without thе P and O Does your lip hang low? Does it wobble to and fro? Can you string that shit up on your compound bow? And lighten up, Wick, with your brooding saga How about a little hakuna matata, Baba Yaga? You got the trousers: tapered, and the watch: Bucherer But your acting falls flatter than the Hans Gruber! Leave the underground coin game to Mario Brothers And John... Bubbe what the f*ck's with the chest butter? That bandolier looks heavy as shit I'm like this prick's ring finger: only need one clip, c'mon I been sharp as shattered glass since the late '80s And like your late pup, I'll leave you pushing up daisies Less is more boys, that's my advice You, less survival knife, you, more survival wife [John Wick] Ooh... I'm gonna need a dinner reservation for two John Wick, I'm efficient and lean A proficient professional killing machine Underworld overachiever lookin' dapper as I'm buckin' Only one of us to go three chapters without suckin' Between your elevator and the mine where you were trapped You're such wieners, I should call you both John Shaft I craft rhymes with pencils then jam 'em in necks So I'm not vexed by vets flexin' 'roid-injected pecs Bein' excommunicado wasn't more than I could handle So I think I can withstand an excremental ex-commando And this sad, broken, dad-joking popo is no foe For the hurt-you-oh-so-bad virtuoso Ho ho ho to quivers and bows, I'm delivering blows And when they land, it won't help to make fists with your toes Bitcoin? No! Hitcoin? Certainly! I'll put you two in tombs, call it cryptocurrency Obey your superior like good cops and soldiers Raven, Roy, you're done, over [John Rambo, Sam Trautman] Nothing is over! Nothing! You just don't turn it off Unless it's one of your movies, in which case, I just turn it off! Huh! When I rip off my shirt and start swingin' my stick swords I'm hotter than the suicide girls on your switchboards My headband's red, but I got no love for commies And no juice was used to produce these armies Your High Table rules don't apply to this conflict I'll finish you right in the lobby, mission accomplished McClane! South is where your marriage went The last tight thing you slid in was an air vent They used to say you were a handsome crusader Too bad your hairline couldn't get saved by Steve Urkel's neighbor Oh! I slip into the jungle, disappear like a ghost Then ding! I pop up hot behind ya like toast! I seek peace but I'm packing parabellum I was trained to be the very best soldier boy (Tell 'em!) I'll blast an RPG through NYPD's guts Simon Says you can PTS-deez nuts! [John McClane] Jesus Christ, asshole! Whaddaya doing? This is not some Saturday morning cartoon for you to ruin [John Rambo] Only thing getting ruined is McClane family Christmas All your kids still have "decent dad" on their wishlist [John McClane] Woah! Rambo's droppin' bombs in his flows Did your pals in the Taliban help you write those? [John Wick] Those were mujahideen, there's a difference The Taliban formed in the '90s, when you fell off with a vengeance [John McClane] Hey! Who the f*ck asked you, dog pound? Why don't you go lock your mouth in a hole in the ground? [John Rambo] Hole! Lock!! Arggghhh!!! [John Wick] You're both a funeral suit away from presentable I'm thinking I'm back, and I'm thinking you're expendable [John McClane] You wanna die hard? Well today's a good day Let's go motherf*ckers! Yippee-ki-yay! WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE! EEEEEEEEEEEE-glass shatters -PIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
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