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Pills
par
Clayton Jennings
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Letra
So they say You parted the Red Sea, huh? I thought about You when playing in the Dead Sea mud They say that stuff fixes blemishes Every zit you put it on diminishes It refreshes and replenishes It's too bad they don't make that mud for the soul Because sometimes I look down at my chest at this gaping hole And I begin to feel my fear taking hold As panic sets in that I don't have one Suicidal tendencies set in, where's the gun, I need to grab one Temptation sets in, here's a pill, Clayton, have one The last one's always the last one until the last one becomes a past one I pop pills to medicate, some pop pills to have fun Some get desperate and break into homes to steal some Home raidings like [Nielsen?] I always pop my pills to feel numb Another doctor's note passed to the pharmacist, God bless her "You're an odd mess, sir" She never said it, but thought it, I'm sure She sees me online telling people about God and how He can heal them Wondering then why God can't heal him Is popping pills from the doctors a real sin? Or am I the only one brave enough to admit that the world lacks real men? And the pharmacist thinks if he says Jesus gives peace, then why'd he just take a bag of Klonopin from me? When asked questions like that, most people would dodge them or flee I don't care, so I don't freeze If you want the truth, you'll get it from me I was hooked on prescription pills, and I might still be The doctor called in Clayton's prescriptions around three I knew his name but never met him personally But I listened to his poetry, he seems like a good person to me I guess I'll know when I meet him, we'll see It's weird because his poem 'Please Don't Kill Yourself' saved me I won't judge him for his prescriptions just like they train me But giving pills to numb my favorite artist trained me Because before that video, I was on the tracks thinking train me He'll never know that his video saved me Another Tim, Chris, Sally, or Amy But this is a new one for me Do you know what this is doing to me? But it's my job to hand out pills by the bottles before people hit throttles And then here I pull up, and I see this brunette at the window Her hair falls past her shoulders as the wind blows Clayton Jennings, right, if I recall? Oops, I think she just broke protocol Uhh, I mean name and date of birth I know she's judging me, oh wait, it hurts I turn the radio up, no conversation, it works I hand back the paperwork She half-waves, smiles, then smirks I open up the bag, and we begin to flirt Not me and the pharmacist, me and the pills One from this one, and one from that one, and another 'til I get my fill I got sent spiraling on a downward hill Even getting judged from fans as pharmacists for popping these pills Hard to get off of them, I mean stopping them kills And it nearly killed me But the power of God filled me Or something inside of me screamed to me "This is gonna kill me!" Watching me melt down must've been thrilling But all the while behind the scenes God was instilling Something no pill could be filling Something no prescription could tame A diagnosis doctors couldn't name It was strength, and I felt it flow through me I went from death to life, you'd know it if you knew me Because I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength You can call me whatever, I don't care what you think Because I think that God is my defender, and God is my shield And I don't fear ten thousand accusers against me, a lion in a field My mind is being renewed, and my heart is being healed Down and out a has-been, my fate had been sealed But God, but God, but God My staff and my rod I will walk through the valley of the shadow of death and fear nothing Because I've been through that valley, and the Devil couldn't touch me To my enemies, you cannot rush me Out of my mind, I must be Because trust me I'd rather be out of my mind and walking in the Spirit than be in my mind and not be able to hear it When you dance with God's wrath, you begin to fear it When you listen to the Devil, you begin to hear it First it comes as a whisper, and then it's a roar right in your face And he tries everything he can to put you right in your place Here's another pill, smash it right to your face Take two more, Clayton, you know you love the taste It makes you feel like you're somewhere far, far away Where everything's okay and people only have kind words to say There are no more mind games to play Because on these pills, your mind goes away And after a while, mine went a way And I went through hell getting it back And the Devil didn't want me to tell people about Hell, he wanted my mind like, "Give it back!" He wanted my head, but you can't have it So he pushes my hand toward the pill bottle just so he can have it Because once he has your thoughts, it's your life he attacks next You start waking up looking at your phone shocked at your last text Escaping through a pill can be hazardous I slept in pill bottles for mattresses What's the Bible say about legal drugs, any passages? Everyone is so pilled up without a care, but I'm passionate If you try to put those pills back on me, I'm passin' it I'm walking straight to the wastebin and trashin' it My life coulda been wasted, but I'm a real-life living Lazarus And now I got Jamie and Arabelle, and I'm looking at this future God has for us It's immaculate But then I see a stain And a rip And the whole picture starts to crumble The lightning flashes, and the clouds begin to rumble I run, trip, slip, and I stumble I'm prideful, and God's for the humble I see a tornado headed my way, and you wouldn't believe the size of it's funnel So I jump off the road and run into a tunnel An old song says, "What if I stumble?" It's by DC Talk I can't see people gossip, but I can hear them talk But I begin to walk, and I listen a little closer Is my life really over? I can hear the tornado getting closer Every good thing I've ever done, it's shredding to pieces and blowing right over Then I wake up sweating, go to jump in the shower I gotta get online for a Bible study in like an hour You guys try to put me on a pedestal, but I'm afraid of heights, I guess I'm a coward I prefer to blend in than stand out But I've always felt the need to put my hand out To other people hurting like me It's funny because I became exactly who I've always worried I'd be The guy trying to save everyone while I'm the one who sinks
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