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Corrección Letra
Mental Illness
par
Clayton Jennings
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Letra
Can somebody take me back to when life was simple? When I was little and my biggest fear was a pimple I'm a kitten disguised as a pitbull Because now I lie awake, I shake and I tremble My thoughts are scary, I swear that I'm mental Crying alone, a pistol to my temple One squeeze to silence the noise Take me back to basketball and army men for toys Grew up to be Ken married to Barbie and it annoys Because people look at my life and my wife and think that it's perfect I contemplate suicide and wonder if it's worth it You think I should be worshipped, I think that I'm worthless You hear my lyrics and wonder how I word it Became a fan the first time that you heard it I'm therapy for you, to myself I'm a burden If there's one thing I know for certain, freedom comes from pulling back the curtain I'm bipolar, depressed, adulterer who daydreams about time machines Because I'd punch in 2003 and I'd just leave And I'd go back to when I was a kid on Beachwood Drive Playing with my brother and sister outside The only time in my life that I felt alive I didn't have the weight of the world on my shoulders My thoughts become dark every day I get older I love you Jamie, was 15 the first time that I told her Worried I'd leave her so I'd lay there and hold her Don't worry Jamie, life will be great Took her one town over on our first date Wish I could go back but it's too late The devil dangled lust in my face and I ate that bait A different girl on my chest every time that I'd wake The shame made me shake, the pain made me ache Never thought as a kid it was her heart that I'd break Shame from my past, it's too hard for me to take Our second home was a cottage on a lake She was an angel, and I was a fake So many times I wanted to tie a cinder block around my waist and jump into those waves I wore a mask with a smile to hide my face The neighbors would say hi and I'd just wave Nobody knows how badly I craved the grave Gave Jamie the world but I could never give her me I was too lost in my depression getting sunk in the seas And eventually, I broke down from the guilt So I'd escape for a break with another popped pill The man in the mirror I wanted to kill And I still do But she was with me in the good times and pulled me out of the gloom She'd find me curled up in a panic alone in our room I didn't know what was wrong with me at the time You all look at my blue eyes but ignore my blue mind That pistol to my temple, oh I almost blew mine But instead I blew time, and I can't get that back But I'm fighting to get better Jamie said she'd help me if I'd let her I did, and then we found out that I'm bipolar And when I was diagnosed I cried on her shoulder I knew I was different but I didn't know why One day I'd be inspiring the masses, the next day I'd wanna die I'd stand on stages and God would speak through me So many changed lives because of how He used me But people used me, too And then spread rumors about me that were far from the truth And the only thing that saved me was Jesus and Jamie A devil on the shoulder and a demon on the other But I got God inside of me and He's got me covered I'm really a sheep in wolves' clothing, misunderstood as I suffer Don't know which Clayton I'll get when I wake up and pull back the covers But I find my peace in red letters and spread it to others I'm just thankful I have all of you as my sisters and brothers I'm gonna survive this, and so are you Just don't follow me, follow God to get through I know that so many of you are struggling, too So please don't give up on me Because I never gave up on you
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