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Depression
par
Clayton Jennings
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Letra
There's a time to laugh and a time to mourn There's a time for less, and there's a time for more There's a time for chess, and there's a time for war Problem is there's just not a lotta time Minutes turn to decades, I got a lot to hide Poetry for my pain, can't keep it bottled up inside 3 AM in the studio, I'm throttled up this time If you like to keep the conversation casual, well, okay that's fine I just don't think you and me have compatible minds If you don't think that's factual, fine Look in the Scripture, how many facts do you find? I say a lot, but you problem say none Or maybe you're in the middle, then you probably say some Used to debate people, and you probably won But the person you debated was probably one But then again, what do I know about probability? I'm the one presenting myself with hostility, really? Old heads got a lot to say but never let a fossil kill me Back and forth, man, it's all so silly Had to leave religion to get the Spirit to fill me Probably is, I don't know which spirit got in If it's not of God, then it's not your friend I don't know where the poetry begins and reality ends I have a hard time believing Jesus died for all of our sins Hitler, Stalin, Osama, yo what about them? Say a quick prayer and all three could slip in? That doesn't add up to me What does add up is their casualties Divine providence or divine apathy? You can beat me with the Bible and you can laugh at me But so many things these days aren't adding up to me How could God be forgiving if His people aren't? I don't know where the high horses stop and the steeples start But that's one saddle I got good at sitting in I stood out 'cause I wasn't good at fitting in And I've become an object of envy to a whole lotta men An eye candy to the ladies, or at least a whole lotta them Whole lotta jealousy, whole lotta sin I told you I can't keep this stuff bottled in Is he a poet, or is he modeling? I wore people's opinions for a costume like it was Halloween It was entertainment for you but hell for me Got thrown into a spotlight, I was too dumb to see Ran through stoplights, I was too young to breathe And that nearly suffocated me It's weird to be known but known by nobody Poetry is my medicine, I never treat this like a hobby I don't rap, I wouldn't know what to do with a beat I never trapped, but I stay with the heat And that's not a reference to Miami Click-clack when they threaten my family And it's still like that Love Jesus, but not afraid to send someone to greet Him Be careful, 'cause you just might meet Him Leaving comments saying you'll do what to my daughter? It's hard for me to pray for my enemies when I wanna see 'em all slaughtered I'm constantly under assault but remain unbothered Without the "un" People come around me, I'm like, "Who's camp you in?" I thought I had real ones 'til I got scammed by friends Badmouth me now, but all smiles back then They always have a way of forgetting all you did for them My biggest flaw is that I'd do it again If Heaven's based on perfection, there's not a chance I'll get in Treat it with respect, I don't feel worthy I'm only loyal to the people who hurt me If grace isn't the ticket, I might as well not even knock When will all of this stop? Five people in one night had a dream I got shot Got an e-mail by two, was told in person by three others No wonder I wake up covered in sweat under covers I didn't know you could be scared to fall asleep Nightmares and visions terrify me I fall asleep and they're there to find me So sometimes I don't go to sleep I put my headphones on and then I write this poetry I have more questions than answers This depression is cancer I don't get it, God But that's not my place I speak boldly in prayer but would never say it to your face I'll continue to follow, but just know I wanna stop After all, you are God, and I am not
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