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Dear Em M&m || Spoken
par
Clayton Jennings
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Letra
We'll give it a shot... Johnny was like eighteen, Christina was two But Christina didn't know the bad things discrete Johnny used to secretly do So when he got put on charge of the church nursery, Johnny did, well, what Johnny's do And the next thing you know, you got a little girl who's been victimized before knowing what the definition of victim is itself That's how a demon will manifest itself If someone put a finger on my daughter, prayer chain for his health I'd put rusty chains around his neck and pray "and rest in Hell" I'd push that bully to suicide just like bullies push my fans around Bullies bullying kids, and everyone just stands around Then Clayton grabs his balls, steps to the mic, and stands his ground And we cry and say, "O-M-G, he's having a meltdown" I wasn't having a meltdown when I put those middle fingers up I was calling out the snakes that slither in secret huts Pulpit bunker, secret sl*ts Who's he talking about? Just call them out Clayton, who are you talking about in your poetry? If I explained every word of every verse, it wouldn't be poetry Break down my art for the critics? Uh, yeah dog, that's a no from me Randy Jackson voice People come around me and the first thing they say is "I didn't think he'd be so tall" First thing I think when I see my enemies in public is Wow, I didn't think they'd be so small But you'd never be able to find them I'd hide the bodies in stealth "Clayton, be like Jesus, don't be like yourself" Maybe you haven't read the Bible that sits dusty on your shelf The Bible where God kills more people than He saves The Bible where Jesus arose from the grave Funny thing is, I still have yet to see Him And I pray someday I'll get to meet Him I've never seen Jesus, but I've seen a lot of demons Shoutout to Victor Marx and Jeff Voth and the rest of the real men Who don't sit on their asses while the Devil prays, that's the real sin Passive-aggressive Christians Massive deception, listen If you really believe in Hell, why aren't you warning your neighbors? You'd rather sit inside and read the obituary on the back pages of the paper Real good job pointing people to Christ Real good job stepping out of your bubble to save a life I was in the Baltimore Riots trying to shout Jesus I had starving kids in Zimbabwe begging us not to leave them But when I'm off the road and I get attacked and called a heretic and heathen About the same time I go to attack those people, it's time for me to leave again If you wanna know the real me, don't read the blog sites, just ask a friend How I've had their backs in the places we've been The heartache I carry and the weight of my sin If something happened to Jamie, I wouldn't know how to date again 'Cause I'm scared of these women who come up smiling and ask for a pic They want the clout but they also want the- Woah, get your head out of the gutter there, Seth I like picking on that little guy the best He's like Bubbles without the glasses Got shot down by every girl in his classes Now he sits behind his keyboard and googles Beth Moore and then starts to trash her "If she's popular and pretty, I hate her I wish we could put out an article saying Clayton raped her That way we could kill two birds with one stone" Is this handicapped kid stoned? I bet you put lipstick on and dance around home alone You look in the mirror and you'd do anything you could just to be me And J.D. promised he'd do everything he could to see me But he never showed up on my tour It was sixty-two cities I'm not afraid of a guy who has double D's for titties "Clayton, you aren't acting like the Lord!" Have you read the verse where Jesus said sell your cloak and buy a sword? This is too easy for me I'm honestly bored Who's next? I already destroyed Pulpit and Pencil I've already shown the whole world that they're mental "Uh, Clayton said Pulpit and Pencil, it's Pen" I know the two are mistakable No, I called them that because they're erasable Shoutout to the real men and women who hit the streets and fight back If it's like that then it's like that People said I fell off but caught a new wave and came right back And now you see me in your feeds again Hi, it's Clayton, hello there friends I'm having a hard time going to sleep again Not because I'm not tired or worn out But because these demons sit back and pull their porn out The moment my eyes shut, their eyes open And if I don't confess these things to my fan then there's no growth in I'm writing this for my fans, not bloggers who pretend to be grown men Anyways, where was I? And I don't mean where have I been I mean what topic was just at hand as I held this pen? I remember now Yeah, I haven't ever seen Jesus Christ But I'd put it on my life that I've seen a demon twice And the weirdest thing Those demons were kinda nice Except for the one who tried to bite me in the Nile River Man, I could tell you stories that would make your skin quiver If you don't believe me about the demons in the Nile River Hit up anyone else on that trip and become a file getter We have footage of this lady trying to bite her arm off I'm sensing my ADD alarm going off I don't care the way they see me when I'm pilled up and dosing off And speaking of things that get me out of this fog My dad could tell I was doubting God He said get in the Word and my problems would be solved As if handing me this one book is going to erase the doubt in my head But okay daddy I'd say as I'd run off to bed Next thing you know, I'm only six or seven And I'm reading about how not all people get into Heaven The same book that he gave me to show me the truth Did the opposite because I found there's really no proof Something isn't right I need to know more You guys keep telling me to relax and take time off more I wanna attack, and you're like what for? Because part of me is starting to believe I'm being lied to If God killed Sodom, why didn't the Devil die, too? And when the snake tried to whisper in Eve's ear, why'd He allow her to be lied to? You coulda stopped her but You didn't, so now we gotta die, too? And what about sin, where do I begin? Satan's pride, I know, I have all the answers memorized, too But do you honestly believe you have the Spirit deep down inside of you? Yes, I'm asking if you're saved You and me are just alike, both awaiting on that long dark train In other words, we're both headed to the grave Maybe Heaven, maybe Hell But did God create Hell? 'Cause I can't tell I mean He creates everything, right? Bulb over my head turns on like a light Then that must mean God put sin inside of Satan After all, there's nothing that wasn't made by Him Some of you will say God doesn't want robots Well what the hell does that even mean? He wants people to pick up their cross and be on His team? And you know what, I'm cool with that But I'm doubting God, and I don't know what to do with that 'Cause if I call my dad, he'll call me right back But there are times I'd call out to God and get silence in the black I'm floating along here in space like Matthew McConaughey, "Don't leave me, Murph!" Just like part of me is yelling out to you, "Don't leave me, church!" Interstellar with this poetry, I'm in forever 'Cause once you listen to this, you and me are together Or whatever that is in men, now it's in you Jezebel comes for whoever, you don't get to choose So go to Spotify, iTunes, or stream it on Apple But don't take a bit of that last like that dumb chick did Now because of Eve I gotta live with a diabetic kid? And who put the apple in there, huh? God did Somebody better turn my mic off and get me off this I wonder how many donors this poem is gonna cost us They say they cost me, well maybe they cost us Half of me wants to walk away from Jesus and never look back I told that to a Jew in Israel, and he was shocked when he looked back "Do you have doubts, Clayton?" He leaned in to ask me at the Garden of Gethsemane Pardon me if this goes too deep I didn't wanna tell him 'cause it felt like a sin to me But I looked him in the face and said I have more questions than answers I said it before, this depression is cancer And I think I have stage three 'Cause I'm questioning God, the church, and even me That Jew said, "You're the only famous pastor who's been real with me Most of them try to convert me, and I don't like that that feels to me But you're authentic, and for that my faith has been strengthened" I'm glad it was good for him, but mine just got weakened I kept replaying that day in my head all weekend What if he goes to Hell because I didn't preach to him? And why does he think I'm famous when I'm not? Why does he think I'm a pastor when I'd rather be shot? Why do people keep putting me on pedestals that I hate? Why do they eat popcorn during my meltdown and hope that I break? The only thing I've ever broken is the back door on these fakes And I came right in and made myself at home I am the voice of this bullied generation, give me my throne Now take that throne and throw it straight in the fire You call yourselves sheep and you say Clayton's a goat G-O-A-T, I'm flattered you think I'm the greatest of all time But that's not my desire I'll give you a break to go back and listen to my poetry line after line I only speak my mind One of the few things about me I admire The other things are this ... Damn, right now I can't think of anything else I like about me These people sure do have a lot to say about me and a lot to write about me But I'm not like you, and you're not like me See, what you're seeing is a genius at work Which to me isn't work I guess I am really the Eminem of spoken word
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