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If Things Were Different
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I often wonder how the absence of my father Is currently impacting me, I ponder On top of that, when you factor in the tragedies and drama And drug use, and then the early passing of my momma Now, I don't want you to feel sorry for me I just want to know all the ways it's [?] to me Like, how did it shape who I am today? How does a boy become a man with no examples laid? To talk about the show we usually didn't But the very few times that this dude would get mentioned, uh My responses was always super indifferent Kind of numb, didn't think it madе that huge of a differencе How can you hurt for something you've been brutally missing If it's a child you never even knew it existed? Uh I guess one can only speculate How many ways it's still affecting me to this present day (Go, go, go) I never thought I could ever be (Never be) Affected by someone I never seen (Never seen) It trickles down to these babies of mine (Mine) They got the pieces that you left behind (You left me behind) And if this apple can fall far from that tree (So far from that tree) Then, I pray that they can be better than me What if the whole time while I grow up My father lived with us and my mom was sober And from an early age they both taught me things? Would I be better equipped for this adult man thing? Yeah, would I have better ethics? Maybe, more impressive methods I can get ahead with Would my moral compass be like little more stable And emotionally not be like a tornado? Would I have better values instilled in me? Guess the real question's: would I still be me Or would I be the same old kid who would never make it through high school? Had some better days and lost everything that I knew But would I still end up perpetuating a cycle And fail at the thing that I dedicated my life, too Or would my own kids have a stable environment If I grew in a home that had both my parents inside of it? I never though I could ever be (Never be) Affected by someone I never seen (Never seen) It trickles down to these babies of mine (Mine) They got the pieces that you left behind (You left me behind) And if this apple can fall far from that tree (So far from that tree) Then, I pray that they can be better than me Hey, yo, my children's where my head is now So, if they listening, I'm so sorry I let you down Our home is where I put all of my soul inside That's when it all fell apart: I guess so did I It's strange, 'cuz the things that we want the most Seem like the ones that be the most hard to hold Yo, and the stronger that your grip is You can still see it slipping Through your fingertips, like a wet bar of soap I just wanted to give y'all a home A safe environment you could be proud to call you own So forgive me all of them times you felt all alone And I was too preoccupied with grieving on my own Yeah, my prayer is that they'll do the opposite With they own families, the one I failed to provide you with Security and a stable environment for my grandkids to have both of their parents inside of it (Uh)
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