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Squeaky Clean
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(The Whiffles) Squeaky clean, that's what they call us Our thoughts are pure and grooming is flawless We're well bred, well mannered, and, well, just nice And when you rub our hair it sounds like mice *Squeak* Squeaky clean down to our marrow We're very straight and extremely narrow Our drink of choice is *breathe, smell* Ahhh Listerine It keeps our insides extra squeaky clean When vulgar people curse *tist, tist* When heathens grunt and stammer We don't know which is worse *tut, tut* Their language or their grammar They neither show refinement or amounts of self restraint They may think it's proper English but It's not! (Solo) Most assuredly it's not Yes, I'm squeaky clean but ever so lonely Wish I was squeaking in your ears only 'Cause, gosh, I think your *beat, beat, beat* Peachy Keen! When I see you I feel extra squeaky clean (Allison) Squeaky Clean, this is my song for The kind of boy I'm told that I long for Upright, upstanding, and up-to-snuff I know one kiss from him would be enough Someone squeaky clean, shining and sterling Like a baton that needs some twirling That's why I use *pause* Vaseline So my hands remain unchafed and squeaky clean (Whiffles) She makes my spirit rise She sets my soul a spinnin' It's bluer in her eyes Than any pool I've been in The two of us together would be such a perfect match If she'd only say she'd have me *bell whistle* What a catch! What a catch What a catch What a catch! Squeaky clean, promise me Venus I'll get to show her my squeaky *beat* Cleanus! For then she'd be my squeaky queen In the everlasting kingdom of squeaky clean!
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