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The Piano Has Been Drinking (Not Me)
by
Tom Waits
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Lyrics
The piano has been drinking --(Piano has been drinking) My necktie is asleep --(Tie is asleep) And the combo went back to New York --(Back to New York) The jukebox has to take a leak --(Gotta take a leak, now) And the carpet needs a haircut --(Carpet needs a haircut) And the spotlight looks like a prison break --(It's bright!) 'Cause the telephone's out of cigarettes --(All outa ciggies) The balcony is on the make --(On the make) And the piano has been drinking --(Piano has been drinking) The piano has been drinking --(Piano has been drinking) Mmmmm... And the menus are all freezing --(Menus are freezing) And the light man's blind in one еye --(Blind in one eyе) And he can't see out of the other --(Can't see out of the other) And the piano-tuner's got a hearing aid ----(Say what?) And he showed up with his mother --(Showed up with his mother) And the piano has been drinking --(Piano has been drinking) Mmmm mmm mmmmmmm... And the bouncer is a Sumo wrestler --(The bouncer is a wrestler) Cream-puff Casper Milktoast --(Casper Milktoast) And the owner is a mental midget --(Mental midget) With the I.Q. of a fence post (With the I.Q. of a fence post) 'Cause the piano has been drinking --(Piano has been drinking) The piano has been drinking --(Piano has been drinking) Mmmmm... And you can't find your waitress --(Can not find your waitress) With a Geiger counter (Geiger counter) And she hates you and your friends And you just can't get served without her (Can't get served without her) And the box-office is drooling --(Box-office is drooling) And the bar stools are on fire --(Talk about a hot seat!) And the newspapers were fooling --(They were only fooling) And the ash-trays have retired --(Have retired) And the piano has been drinking --(Piano has been drinking) The piano has been drinking --(Not me, not me) Not Meeeeeeeeeeeeee... (Meeeeeeeeeeeeee...)
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