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Bored This Way
by
The Key of Awesome
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This is the manifesto of Mother Brainfart In Vulvulon, a system of interplanetary planets, there were two races of humanoidians: the b*t*hy Dancers and the Mucusheads On the first day of the festival of the bleeding disco ball, Queen Cornerface decreed "From this day forth the citizens of Planet Fabulust shall only communicate via Madonna songs" The b*t*hy Dancers protested saying "wait, which Madonna songs?" The Mucus heads said nothing because they we're mucusheads Thus began the dance war Now watch this unrelated video It doesn't matter if you make do, or make doo-doo (excuse me, sorry) Just turn the music up cus I've got words to say: gravy My momma told me when you write a song you don't have to be original Just mash up parts of other melodies like "Express Yourself" and "Waterfalls" (hey, hey, hey) If someone notices and tries to sue, you can claim that it's just an homage Then make a video with whips and chains, it's kooky sci-fi gay pride collage I'm running out of ideas My dress is made of tortillas I'm on my last leg baby I got nothing to say I'm on a hamster wheel So I'll beg, borrow and steal Now I'm grasping at straws What if I bang Santa Claus? When you don't know what to say Just display more T&A Check out my butt while I walk away Everyone is super gay Gay, gay, gay, everyday Hey wait, did I mention that I'm down with gays? Don't be a rainbow be a flag Don't drink the tea just lick the bag Don't be shovel be a hoe Goddamn my voice is really low I just don't know what to do anymore What if I roll around with goo on the floor? This feels disgusting and its really cold Sometimes it's hard to be an attention whore I have to cheer up this skeleton cus I convinced him to rip off his skin It's hard to tell if he's still mad at me because when he frowns it looks like a grin Don't go for second best ba- Wait that's the song I ripped off, maybe I am second best Copy Madonna so much I think I'm losing my touch I think I'll just put on mom jeans and a Gap sweater vest The only thing left to do Is to just start boring you I'm going to shop at Kohl's for some sensible shoes
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