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You May Turn Over And Begin
by
Simon Armitage
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‘Which of these films was Dirk Bogarde not in? One hundredweight of bauxite makes how much aluminium? How many tales in The Decameron?’ General Studies, the upper sixth, a doddle, a cinch for anyone with an ounce of common sense or a calculator with a memory feature. Having galloped through but not caring enough to check or double-check, I was dreaming of milk-white breasts and nakedness, or more specifically virginity. That term – everybody felt the hеat but the girls were having nonе of it: long and cool like c*cktails, out of reach, their buns and pigtails only let out for older guys with studded jackets and motor-bikes and spare helmets. One jot of consolation was the tall spindly girl riding pillion on her man’s new Honda, who, with the lights at amber, put down both feet and stood to stretch her limbs, to lift the visor and push back her fringe and to smooth her tight jeans. As he pulled off down the street she stood there like a wishbone, high and dry, legs wide open, and rumour has it he didn’t notice till he came round in the ambulance having underbalanced on a tight left-hander. A Taste of Honey. Now I remember.
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