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Sump’n Claus
by
Saturday Night Live
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Lyrics
Hey, yo. What up, man? How was the concert? It sucked. Me and my buddies got busted for drinking in the parking lot. Santa's not bringing me anything this year Aw, don’t worry about it, man. You'll always get a visit from Sump'n Claus Who’s that? Yeah Everybody's gettin' sump'n Everybody gettin' sump'n Everybody's been naughty Everybody's got flaws If you’ve been crossed off Santa’s list Here comes Sump'n Claus Twas a girl named Sheila Had a man with a van They were supposed to go to dinner But he had other plans He said she was domineering Tried to take her diamond earring Said that she was profiteering Soon he would be disappearing She got mad, was on fire Took a knife, slashed his tires Pulled a full-on Richard Pryor Santa said, "You’re no longer a qualifier" But you know what I say Everybody's gettin' sump'n Everybody gettin’ sump'n We ain't talkin' 'bout no small toys I give cash, white envelopes filled with twenties, sometimes fifties Cash! And where I'm gettin' this cash? Hey man, we don't need to talk about that Everybody's been naughty Everybody's got flaws If you've been crossed off Santa's list Here comes Sump'n Claus This the story 'bout Marcus Hates working for the man Works super long hours Does everything he can One day he had all he could handle Threw a fit and caused a scandal Broke his computer into shambles The mess he made was quite substantial Got fired, got arrested Got thrown out from being protested Santa said, "Man, you've been rejected" But you know what I say Everybody's gettin' sump'n Everybody gettin' sump'n Oh, you're sweatin' Santa being mad at you? What, you thought y'all was friends? He sees you when you're sleepin' That's weird I'ma tell you a little secret, man He hit somebody with that sleigh Don't like him talk about it Everybody's been naughty Everybody's got flaws If you've been crossed off Santa's list Here comes Sump'n Claus Let me tell you my story Was a long time ago I used to work for Santa Up at the North Pole (yeah) One day I was workin' at my station Mrs. Claus started a conversation Both of us felt a sweet sensation So we agreed on recreation Brought me inside, made some cocoa She served me pumpkin risotto Santa walked in and said, "That's a no-no" But you know what I say Everybody's gettin' sump'n Everybody gettin' sump'n Everybody's been naughty Everybody's got flaws If you've been crossed off Santa's list Here comes Sump'n Claus Man, I'm talkin' 'bout everybody Justin Bieber's gettin' sump'n Paula Deen's gettin' sump'n Donald Sterling's gettin' sump'n Suge Knight's gettin' sump'n Kevin Bacon is gettin' sump'n What's wrong with Kevin Bacon? Oh, nothin', he's just my homie Get sump'n, get sump'n Get sump'n, get sump'n Get sump'n (woo, woo, woo, woo) Go 'head, be naughty I gotchu
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