Correction Lyrics Rolf Harris Illustrates The 350S Method (LP side 1) by Rolf Harris

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Lyrics

G'day. You'll probably find this hard to believe, but the tune you're listening to right now is being played by a twelve year old. Fifteen minutes before this recording was made, she'd never laid eyes on the 350S. In fact, she had never played a musical instrument before in her life. Now, whether or not you are musicall minded, I promise you that by the time you reach the end of this rеcord - you will be playing this tune exactly as you arе hearing it now, with this orchestral accompaniment. And that's only the start. On side 2, we have orchestral accompaniments for five equally beautiful tunes - and you'll be playing them in no time at all. And then, you'll go on to accompany your own records and tapes, and introduce a completely new dimension to your musical enjoyment. All you have to do is to follow my instructions carefully, and you'll be playing to a standard you would never have believed possible before starting this record. So - ready? Here we go then.

The first thing you must remember is: always keep your keyboard and stylus tips clean. And you do this by simply polishing them with metal polish, just like you would clean silver or brass. Do this, say, once a week. And this'll keep your 350S in prime condition. And then, every time before you play, just give the keyboard a rub with a dry cloth. This'll get rid of any invisible finger marks or humidity that might dull the sound of the instrument.

So, now you turn to page 2 of your instruction manual. And you'll see a drawing of your 350S. Got it? Good. Now, look at the switches marked 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, and 14. They are, in fact, the black serrated switches on your actual instrument. Now, these are all three way switches. And the positions you put these switches in determines the effects and the sounds that you're gonna get when you play. Now, I want you to get used to the feel of these switches by pressing them into the various positions, and then returning them to the neutral or the 'flat' position when you've finished. Spend a minute or so on this little exercise. And then go onto the next track for your further instructions...

Okay! Mucking about with switches - beeegin! Push 'em down now. Don't be afraid of them, you dozy lot! Uh-two-three-four. Hup-hup, hiddle-aye-up! Hruhmp-huhmp, harrattaty-tump...

One of the first things to do with any musical instrument is to tune it up. And the 350S is no exception. Between switches 12 and 14 on the drawing, you'll see a white section marked 13. Have a look at it on your 350S. You'll see that it's a tuning wheel. Now, this wheel tunes the whole keyboard of the instrument up or down, to enable you to get into pitch with another instrument. Or with your records, or your tapes. Now, have a listen - but don't play anything for a moment.

The sound that you're hearing now is the tuning signal. Now, I'm going to tune my 350S into this signal. And this is how I do it: I play note number 8... [Another tone plays over the first.] ...On my 350S.  [Second tone slides up in pitch, to meet the first on the A note.] And I turn my tuning wheel until both notes are exactly the same. That's it! Got it. Beautifully in tune. You hear how that's done?

Now it's your turn, right? Switch on. You do that by pressing switch number 14 in either direction. Towards you or away from you, doesn't matter which as long as it's not in the flat position. Okay, now that's switched on... Now you press switch number 10 towards you - in the 'brass' position. And also press switch number 5 towards you, in the 'photo - vibrato' position. Just to the left of switch number 5 is the volume control, marked number 18 on the drawing. D'you see that? Good. Turn this to about halfway for now, and you can adjust it later to suit yourself. Next, remove stylus number one (that's the one on the right), by pressing down on the word 'push'. Got it? Okay. Now, with a good firm pressure - it's, uh, sort of, it's a bit heavier than you would use when you were writing... You play key number 8 on your keyboard, and hold it there. I'm assuming, of course, that you've put the batteries in. Otherwise, you might not get anything, will ya? Hah. Oh dear, well that's obvious, isn't it?

Right, stop for a minute. Now, I'm gonna play my number 8. And when I do, I want you to turn your tuning wheel and tune it into my number 8. Until we are both playing exactly the same note. Take your time... In fact, you can take as long as you like. Because I'm going off for a cup of tea. Haha! And when you are sure that we're in tune - bung me onto the next track. Alright?

Tuning your number 8 to my number 8 - beeegin!

You know, one of the most important things about playing a musical instrument - any musical instrument - is expression. The string player expresses the mood of the music by vibrating his fingers on the strings. And by giving stronger pressure to the bow, or softer pressure to the bow. And the keyboard player gives expression to what he's playing, by the varying force with which he strikes the notes. And further varies the expression by the loud and soft pedals of the piano. The wind instrumentalist vibrates his lips, and also varies the volume of the note by the amount of air he blows into his instrument. With any conventional instrument - it's going to take time, study, and months and months of practice. But don't get worried. Haha. That doesn't mean you. You see, I'm gonna teach you to express yourself on the 350S with just three simple exercises...

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