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The Campfire Song
by
Rob Rokicki
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Lyrics
[Luke} Come one, grab some ambrosia, and let the nectar flow Why is everyone scraping part of their plate into the fire? Is the food here really that bad? Offering to the gods, it’s not enough And they’re omnipotent And all-powerful They need to feel appreciated! To the gods To the gods Oh, things couldn’t be worse When your parents run the universe Oh, things couldn’t be worse When your folks run the universe My dad is Hermes, he messages things You’ll know his sign by his shoes with those wings I wait by the phone, but, the phone never rings! Oh no… When your dad’s a god, life can be tough I met the guy once And once was enough Annabeth! Well my mom’s Athena, she’s smart and she’s wise She swore off gluten and she swore off guys But if she came to came, it’d be a surprise Oh no… Oh no… Oh and my stepmom, she hates me and my dad works all day So I left Virginia And I ran away Wait, is that true? Everybody… Oh, things couldn’t be worse When your parents run the universe Oh, things couldn’t be worse When your folks run the universe Alright, who’s next? Oh, let me see, um My mom’s Demeter, goddess of grains She gets excited when it’s starts to rain But planting and planting and planting’s a pain! Oh no… Oh no… Right?! For their sixteenth birthday, my friends got a car! I got a fern in some dumb mason jar! Ooh, ooh, my turn! I’m the child of Pan, god of the wild For those who love nature they’re often beguiled He’s not really my dad, but I’m sort of his child Oh no… Oh no… He went for a hike, to explore new frontiers And no one and seen him For thousands of years! Oh, things couldn’t be worse When your parents run the universe Oh, things couldn’t be worse When your folks run the universe Chiron! Who’s your dad? Oh, well… My father is Kronos Remember my lecture? He ate is children Chiron wins! *Agrees* How about you, Silena? The goddess of love, my mom’s Aphrodite She tried to be cool, but mainly she’s flighty I’ll bring home a boy, and she’s there in her nighty! Oh no! It’s so embarra**ing, guys! I try to seek help, from even the fates Cause she steals my mascara And all of my dates Alright, Percy, it’s your turn! If I try to sing, it’ll probably cause an avalanche Aww, we’re all friends here, just give it a shot Ok So my mom was named Sally, she loved scary movies The food that was blue and- He’s doing it wrong Yeah, who’s your godly parent? Oh, I don’t know It’s alright, a lot of half-bloods don’t know their godly parent Just give it a shot Um… So my dad is some guy, that’s great I guess Did he not want me or not want the stress Too bad he’s the worst, and my life is a mess! Oh no… Oh yes, Percy!! I hope he shows, even a trace Cause I’ve got some choice words To throw at his face! Yes, Percy, that’s what I’m talking about! Oh, things couldn’t be worse When your parents run the universe Oh, things couldn’t be worse But I don’t care where our parents may be As long as you are here with me We don’t care where our parents may be As long as you are here with me As long as you are here with me!
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