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A Girl Named Sue
by
Rena Strober
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Hello, Westerburg! Welcome to our special a**embly! Don't even call it an a**embly—it's a listen-in. (unintelligible screaming) We all need healing and communication, so to kick it off, let's give a big welcome to the number two unsigned band in all of Ohio: Mourning in America! Hello, Westerburg! We're here to tell you that suicide is for squares and losers; rock and roll is life! One, two, three, yeah! Let me warn ya' bout the girl named Sue She'll make all your nightmares come true Late at night she invades your head Makes you feel like you should be dead! Stay away from me! Miss Teenage Suicide Teenage suicide! Oh the misery Miss Teenage Suicide Teenage suicide! When you get it, teenage— Su-su-suicide! She looks up with her [?] eyes Those eyes Never, never here to kiss her twice That’s quite nice She takes women, and she takes men Oh no Stop havoc while she kills again! Stay away from us! Miss Teenage Suicide Teenage suicide! You're too dangerous Miss Teenage Suicide Teenage suicide! (Woah-oh-oh-oh) Me and you are through Miss Teenage Suicide (Suicide) Don't let teenage su-su-suici— What really killed Heather, Ram, and Kurt— (Groan) —Secrecy. They were ashamed of what they felt and who they were inside, and they couldn't trust in their safety net. Not parents, not faculty, not even you, their friends. So if any if you are considering suicide [actress misspeaks], I want you to look around first and speak up. Share your pain! Who's first? Come on, kids, give me something to work with here! My best friend killed herself What is she doing?
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