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Southern Air
by
Ray Stevens
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Lyrics
Southern Air, Southern Air If you're flying down to Dixie You won't find a cheaper fare Southern Air, Southern Air Yeah, we'll treat you like kinfolks But you better have time to spare Yeah, there I was I'd just stepped on board flight number 78492100976 5432 827657 Flying nonstop from Heyhiward, Georgia to Yazoo City, Mississippi Done bought me one of them triple ultra super saver center sleep tickets Set down there between a duck and a Ledbetter Fella tried to talk to me, couldn't understand a word he was sayin', sounded like a log truck Duck didn't say nothin' All of a sudden I hear this voice comin' in over the intracom This here is Captain Jerry Clower, whoo! I wanta welcome all y'all to Southern Air We'll be ready for takeoff shortly, just as soon as they clear the runway There was a gun rack in the c*ckpit It beat all I'd ever seen They had complimentary copies Of Mechanics Magazine We peeled rubber on the runway Looking out my window screen I saw an "eat more possum" bumper sticker Stuck out on the wing Southern Air, Southern Air Flying high over Dixie Going where no others dare Southern Air, we're Southern Air Yeah, we'll take you to your kinfolks But you better have time to spare Yeah, there I was Must have been 500 feet over them pine trees Duck had done fainted on takeoff Had his little head layin' on my arm there, his little tongue just all hangin' out We flew past Stone Mountain, crossed that Alabama state line Got so close to Enterprise you could almost see that Boll Weevil wine Then I heard this sharp ringin' in my ear Howdy! My name is Miss Pearl and I'll be your stewardess for the duration of this flight As you can see Captain Clower has turned off the No Chewin' sign Now y'all feel free to kick your shoes off, get up, roam around, get to know your neighbors Right now I just want to get to know this good-looking, handsome young hunk of man right cheer... She served Nehis, Moon Pies Bowls of butter beans Gone with the Wind was skippin' On that movie screen While Marcelle, Claudelle, Raynell, Eunell Clovis and Eugene We're all taking turns at the churn Turnin' out peach ice cream Southern Air, we're Southern Air Flying high over Dixie Country comforts in the air Southern Air, Southern Air If you're dyin' to see your kinfolks Well, you better have time to spare Yeah, there I was That Miss Pearl was givin' me more attention then she did that first class passenger Kept showin' me all the new safety tips and playin' with my seatbelt Got me so nervous I dropped my last piece of pecan pie right on that duck's head That little feller come to and jumped up a-quacking and a-squallin', didn't know where he was Started runnin' up and down the aisle, tripped over the ice cream freezer Stepped in Marcelle's sweet potatoes and flew out the screen door and was gone! Nothin' but feathers Then I heard that voice again comin' in over the intracom... I can see Yazoo City from here! Whoo! Now don't y'all fret about that landin' none, I got up early this mornin' And put on a brand new set of them big foot mud grippin' tires Through rain or shine, we stayed behind Lord it was quite a show How that duck beat us to Yazoo Well, I guess I'll never know And that moony girl they called Miss Pearl Just wouldn't let me go While that Captain kept on talkin' On his 2-way radio Southern Air, Southern Air Uncle Mercy! Can you get them cows off the runway? Southern Air, Southern Air
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