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Resident Enis
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Random Encounters
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Enis: Chapter 54, page 105 Create a hellhound antidote and keep your victim alive It says to cover one eyeball, and the other one, too Dodger: What for? Enis: That's what the book says to do! We'll need a pile of raisins and a magical word I like to use the term, 'linguine!' 'cause it's pretty absurd And once we've found ourselves some raisins, pour them into a shoe Then flick your ear; that's what the book said to do We have to iron a cactus, stick a bee in your nose And then we'll eat a plate of flapjacks, draw some faces on toes We'll all hold hands until they're sweaty, we'll pretend we can fly And if we don't...we'll die! [Spoken] ...I made that part up Here, hold this! [Sung] Now you take a creepy baby doll and shake it all around Then you shriek like a weasel while you flail on the ground And once you've done that for two hours, throw that baby down the stairs Then we'll hit each other with metal chairs Dodger: I'm having second guesses 'bout this spellcasting stuff Mark: Okay, I found a couple tutus-- Enis: That's not nearly enough! Next we'll scatter someone's ashes as we throw a parade And then we'll sit and have a séance while we're playing Old Maid Wear a big hat! Drink from this jar! Mark, Dodger: None of this song makes sense so far... Enis [Spoken]: I hope I have some chickens left! Mark: I dunno what he's up to, but it's certainly weird Dodger: He keeps asking for toenails-- Mark: --And a leprechaun beard! Dodger: I don't think we should trust him, he's completely insane Mark: And all the nonsense we're doing seems expressly inane! Dodger: Oh, we should totally kill him! Mark: Yeah, it seems like you're right Dodger: I mean, he looks pretty puny Mark: Won't be much of a fight Dodger: We can sneak up behind him-- Mark: --Drive a stake through his heart! Dodger: Do your worst! Mark: Ladies first! Mark, Dodger: If you won't impale him, then Enis will start a new verse! [Instrumental] Enis: We gotta whittle a pickle, eat some parmesan cheese And then we'll all watch a movie (Oh no, not the bees!) And next we take out the garbage, summon hellbeasts from space And then when the portal closes, pull his sleeve up to expose his wounded arm And kiss your friend's dead face! Enis: Let's expel our spacebound hellbeasts, then we'll take out the trash We'll watch a flick and eat some cheese and cut a pickle and dash Inside to play kazoo and wear a hat, use metal chairs like baseball bats And flail and fly and paint all your toes We'll eat some flapjacks and stick bees in your no-- uh, nevermind We'll grab a shoe to fill with snacks and flick your ear with sneak attacks and scream "linguine!" to the max So here it goes!
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