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The Second Crime Scene
by
Paul Shapera
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Lyrics
Kevin: Wow, this looks like it was one hell of a party Abi: The Voodoopunks were famous for their parties Kevin: Yeah, but look at these people, most of them are so drugged up I dont think there's a coherent brain cell among them Abi: The best parties are not known for their temperance Kevin: Well, they're all partying in heaven now. Or will be, it says on that banner there that thеy're leaving in a week Abi: I don't know, my mom always laughed at thе idea that they made it to Elysium Kevin: Well where’d they go then? Abi: Will go, they're all still right here at the moment Kevin: Oh lord, time shenanigans Abi: Waka waka waka Kevin: No. There's no way you can possi... Abi: I'm teasing you. No, I'm thinking about making it an actual phrase. Like, I gotta hex for your necks? Pecks? Rex? Tex? It's a tough rhyme... Kevin: We should get on with it. Listen up everyone, licensed detectives here Abi: Soon to be licensed in like twenty years Kevin: Hush. We're going to need to conduct some interviews. Can someone please tell me what happened here? Choir: There's a murder at the party, there's a couple of dead bodies And they're both just laying there upon the floor It's a drag and it's a cancer, and it's bummin out the dancers And we've got to get the groove back here once more Kevin: Wow, you three again Terna: I'm sorry, have we met? Abi: Kev, look closely, she looks a lot like Temna but not quite. I think she's a relative Kevin: Uh, what's your name? Terna: Terna Abi: Based on the timeline this would be Temna's mother Terna: I'm sorry, how do you know my little girl? Sogandra: I hope your girl doesnt grow up to have shaggy nipples like her mother Terna: How's that chlamydia coming along? Given it to half the party now I hear Kevin: Can you please just tell me what happened here? Terna: We've all come here to celebrate the Voodoopunks for In a week they're gonna step right through Elysium's door My family is helping out to throw this little bash Cause lord knows we have the money and we're generous like that We even let Sogandra in Sogandra: The Balleys open to all! Terna: Well there's that but with her here of course it all has gone to hell My mother came to Albion with nothing but you see I've amassed a solid fortune Sogandra: Because you stole it all from me! Terna: A couple here is dead, they've been poisoned we are sure And they've left behind a son who won't have parents any more Sogandra has a boyfriend who I'm sure was serving drinks I had ordered one from him but they died before I drank I wouldn't put it past Sogandra to do something foul She's jealous that I've gone and made something of myself This father and this mother have both died from poisoned drinks The last one who had touched them was her boyfriend, yes I think Choir: There's a murder at the party, there's a couple of dead bodies And they're both just layin' there upon the floor It's a drag and it's a cancer, and it's bummin' out the dancers And we've got to get the groove back here once more Kevin: So two victims this time. Did they drink from the same glass or have separate glasses? Abi: They each have a glass lying by them Kevin: So possibly separate glasses. Interesting Abi: At least it appears that way Kevin: And the last one to handle them was.. oh god, this guy again Abi: Kev, it's his dad Kevin: Right right. Ok, um, you are.... Ernie: Ernie Kevin: Ok Ernie, tell me what happened Ernie: My name is Ernie Marsh, I sell washing machines They're the best in all the city if you want your clothes clean But sales it can be tough so to make some extra cash I agreed to serve drinks at this bash the Balley had Sogandra gave a champagne glass to give to Terna but I had others drinks upon my tray and was busy serving one When the husband grabbed one of them, maybe two I don't know I didn't think to keep track it's a busy night don't you know Sogandra there and Terna hate each other, it goes back To some fight their mothers had years ago while in the past But if you need the very best in new laundry technology I've got deals so please don't hesitate to come round and see me Choir: There's a murder at the party, there's a couple of dead bodies And they're both just layin' there upon the floor It's a drag and it's a cancer, and it's bummin' out the dancers And we've got to get the groove back here once more Kevin: Thank you Ernie Abi: What does this have to do with the pendant? Kevin: It has everything to do with the pendant. Sogandra, is it? Sogandra: That's Lady Sogandra to you Kevin: Of course it is. Did you give a glass of champagne to Ernie here to give to Terna? Why don't you tell us what happened? Sogandra: Yes, I gave a glass, I figured that I would be nice But these accusations make me think I'm being framed but why Terna's mom was jealous of my mother who got rich Then moved here to New Albion where I've always lived And Terna, when she moved here was as poor as poor can be But then suddenly her fortune turned, because she stole from me Something that I'd rather not go into here and now But now she’s nouveau rich and so tacky that cow That poor boy who is orphaned has godparents I believe They're much richer than his Voodoopunk mom and dad so see He'll be better off, but I assure whatever it might seem I am innocent, It's Ernie who's suspicious don't you think? Terna: So you're just going to set up your own boyfriend? Sogandra: Friends with benefits. He's too poor to be my boyfriend Ernie: But you said--- Sogandra: Not now, dear Kevin: Ok girls, let's talk about the pendant of Kultainen Terna: What?!? Sogandra: How do you know about that? Terna: You can't have it! Ryvyr: No you can't have it Sogandra: So you do have it! You stole it from me! Terna: Your snake of a mother was such a good for nothing hoe that she had nothing better to do then betray her own friends Sogandra: Your whore of a mother couldn't stand that my mother did better than her worthless ass ever could Kevin: Wait, what the hell... Abi: They started the music back up Kevin: It's a freakin crime scene! Abi: Kev, over here Kevin: How do we find those three again on the dance floor? Abi: I think we don't. I say we follow the new time door that's just appeared Kevin: Another time door? Abi: Yeah. Look, this obviously isn't where this began Kevin: No, it seems to have begun with their parents. You think that's where the time door leads? Ryvyr: You’re gonna go nuts when you taste this tea, but we have to get the pendant back in order for me to.. Kevin: We’re working on it. Ok, fine, lead us to the time door. Let's get to the bottom of this
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