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The Outskirts of the Dancefloor
by
Paul Heaton + Jacqui Abbott
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Lyrics
When you've had your John Travoltas And the Fonzes have run dry And that disco boy Has busted his last move The cartwheel and the back flip Have propelled them into sky And the c*cksure kid's No longer in the groove When the elbows of the hipsters They have bumped and they have ground And moonwalked their selfish butts Into the sea On the outskirts of the dancefloor In Club Paradiso Is the spot that you will find Two-left-footed me Two left feet, a tender heat A flat of unpaid bills On the outskirts of the dancefloor By the lake of lager spills Ankle-deep in alcohol Shoulder-deep in shame The outskirts of the dancefloor's A different game Back in 1940's When tap and ballroom hit Leaving every non-Astaire In deep despair Even in that golden age Half the folk would sit And wonder what on Earth Had brought them there If you've ever seen your lover Swept up off their feet And waltzed away In someone else's arms On the outskirts of the dancefloor In Club Paradiso Is the only place you'll ever Work your charms Two left feet, a tender heat A flat of unpaid bills On the outskirts of the dancefloor By the lake of lager spills Ankle-deep in alcohol Shoulder-deep in shame The outskirts of the dancefloor's An idiot's game For every swinging, twisting, bopping Lindy-hopping Mac At least another ten of us Were embarrassed at the back And when Elvis and his giddy mates Were twisting by the pool It left we of little confidence Decidedly uncool Uncool Uncool Uncool Uncool Uncool
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