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N-N-Nineteen Not Out
by
Paul Hardcastle
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N-n-n-n-nineteen, nineteen N-n-n-n-nineteen, nineteen They fought the most disastrous series in test history They fought the most disastrous series in test history In 1984 the test series against the West Indies seemed like just another runner. But it wasn't, it was different in many ways. And so were those who did the batting. In 1933, the England captain's average was 35. In 1984, it was nineteen N-n-n-n-nineteen, nineteen N-n-n-n-nineteen, nineteen Nineteen Nineteen N-n-n-n-nineteen, ninеteen N-n-n-n-nineteen, good vintage Nineteen Lords, Hеddingly, Alborough, Cuc*mber sandwich And the heaviest defeat of the series ended at Old Trafford today, with England beaten by an innings of 64 runs Wasn't really sure what was going on Wasn't really sure what was going on Chill In 1933, the Australian batsman typically served a crease for 12 overs, but was exposed to hostile bowling every minute. It was a bodyline series And now he's taking a long run up, he's gone straight at [?] court, a nasty one on the back of the neck, he's gonna need quite a lot of stitches in that, I'd say about nineteen All those who've forgotten the score They still remember the team Destruction, they got bodyline The captains name was Jardine It wasn't even landed at the stumps It wasn't even landed at the stumps What a marvellous day it's been out there today. England resumed this morning with an overnight total of 7. Gow was good to go for 3, and Gatting 5. Botham 4. Down to Nat without scoring. Bringing the total up to a miserly nineteen N-n-nineteen, nineteen N-n-n-n-nineteen, nineteen Nineteen Nineteen Well there's a bus just going down the road, turning left at the traffic lights, I think, ah yes, it's a number nineteen Nineteen I just said that...Who let that woman in here? In the fifth test, England scored 202 in their second innings. Which is an average of just under nineteen. The West Indies scored n-n-n-n-three hundred and forty six The only batsman able to cope with this attack was Chris Broad, who adopted a new stance S-s-s-s-side on, side on None of them received a standing ovation None of them, none of them None of them received a standing ovation None of them, none of them N-n-n-n... I think you've made your point actually Well, there was one who... Shut up Bill! And sitting with me here in the commentary box is Jim Laker, who holds the record for the most wickets taken in a test match. How many was it, Jim? Nineteen Silly question, really... It's a long, slow, lazy delivery but it's the best I can do Mike Gatting's just hit a four It's the best drop we've seen Reduction of the enemy lead Now it's down to nineteen Bowled L.B.W Caught Run out Hit wicket Stumped Retired Howzat? Not out
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