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Inbetweener
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Offbeat
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People always criticise schools it seems Saying they don't equip kids with the tools they need But personally I think that's ridiculous Coz I learned loads it's just none of it was on the curriculum On my very first day I got a lesson in textiles If you wore the wrong ones – then you were exiled In my school if you didn't have the right brand of shoe It was assumed that your parents had abandoned you But it wasn't just what you wore – it's how you wore it Rucksacks with one strap were mandatory Having a piercing in your left ear was okay But not the right – coz that clearly meant you were gay All I wanted was acceptance from my mates and friends When the bowl haircut was the latest trend My mum wouldn't let me have it and she'd say to me “Son You're gonna thank me one day” well that day has come Sometimes I take a trip down memory lane Before we all had jobs and bills to pay I sit back and reminisce about the good old days But most the time I thank god it's changed I learned more about Social Studies in recess Than from a fuddy duddy in a tie and tweed vest I discovered that the door to popularity had two keys One was brute force the other was beauty I learnt that the way to gain approval from the group came From being mean to people lower than you in the food chain And much to my own shame and disappointment I made the simple choice that if you can't beat 'em – join 'em Back when Iron Mike was biting Holyfield's ear off We were arguing over who the hardest kid in the year was But it was clear to all from the bus ride home Whoever sat in the back seat occupied the throne But occasionally a challenger would step in the ring With the intention of usurping the king – the only thing That we never seemed to learn was 200 kids chanting Always led to fights getting broken up before they started Sometimes I take a trip down memory lane Before we all had jobs and bills to pay I sit back and reminisce about the good old days But most the time I thank god it's changed I didn't learn about sex in a biology lab Most of my knowledge came from a pornography mag Back when random boners were a constant fear “Would you like to come up to the front?” no, really I'm cool here… And as if puberty wasn't hard enough to manage I got my first taste of heart ache and anguish My first relationship lasted 2 days And is still one of my top 5 most painful breakups to date All the hottest girls dated older guys Who could already drive and I swear were like 25 I couldn't wait to be as old as these people Now I look back like “Was that shit even legal?” But all in all it wasn't so bad – apart from the slang and vocab The hair and the clothes fads, the pressure to smoke fags The fights and the romance… In fact screw that place – I never want to go back! Sometimes I take a trip down memory lane Before we all had jobs and bills to pay I sit back and reminisce about the good old days But most the time I thank god it's changed
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