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Trial By Fire
by
Odette
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When did I realise I was absolved of All the tensions between my eyes At last, my gaze cleared and I Knew how right I was in fading you from my life Obligated, habituated, how I hated To be cooped up in my room, sleeping day-to-day with You investing your time invading all my spaces Telling me how my friends weere lying scheming nasty fakes You know I turned to you Over a decade how I turned to you Your eyes saw clearly mine were murky blue And green and brown Your lack of boundaries meant My days of peace and love were few You were raised surrounded by antagonists I know I would have been the same if I lived the life you lived But you just have to understand that I am not like him I'm not like her, I am my own, I'm not a goddamn kid But some days a slight breeze or change of weather Takes me back to the way things were How I had suffered through a hot summer Forty degrees and I'm sweating Lying down head spinning Am I living? Am I alive? Am I breathing? Can I survive? It's a trial by fire Oh, it's a trial by fire Am I dreaming? Am I awake? Am I sleeping? Oh, I'm so tired It's a trial by fire Oh, it's a trial by fire Mmm You don't handle things with grace You throw your hands up to the sky and claim that life has failed you And the reasoning behind your terrible disdain I understand, but does that ease my pain? No, I don't think so You've been selfish and a narcissist Put on my favourite dress You'll make me take it off again I can't pretend like I'm living in joy and bliss And if I'm honest, I can't go on like this You know I turned to you Over a decade, I still turned to you Your head was centered, mine was split in two I was renowned for making sound, being too loud Well, now I know it was not me, but you Am I living? Am I alive? Am I breathing? Can I survive? It's a trial by fire Oh, it's a trial by fire Am I dreaming? Am I awake? Am I sleeping? Oh, I'm so tired It's a trial by fire Oh, it's a trial by fire Am I living? Am I alive? Am I breathing? Can I survive? It's a trial by fire Oh, it's a trial by fire Am I dreaming? Am I awake? Am I sleeping? Oh, I'm so tired It's a trial by fire Oh, it's a trial by fire Oh-oh
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